"Top Dog (transcript)"
Season 2, Episode 45
Top Dog Title Card
Production Code: 124A
Airdate: May 20, 2012
Villain(s) Featured: F.L.O.P.P.
Writer(s): Kevin Sullivan,
Will Schifrin,
Ray DeLaurentis
Art Direction: George Goodchild
Music by: Guy Moon
Puppy Unplugged (transcript)
Quack in the Box (transcript)

This article is a transcript of the T.U.F.F. Puppy episode, "Top Dog" from Season 2. It aired on May 20, 2012.


(The episode starts at T.U.F.F. HQ; daytime)

The Chief: *Throws hat onto hat rack* Ahh, it's a good day to be alive. *sniffs flower*

Dudley: *enters room* HEY, EVERYBODY! I got an awesome new flea collar! *points at his neck, showing off a green collar with a skull on the front* It's guaranteed to annihilate fleas instantly! 

(A green mist comes out of the collar and heads towards the Chief)

The Chief: *choking*

Dudley: OH NO, SOMEONE HAS POISONED THE CHIEF! *Grabs the Chief* I'LL SAVE YOU, CHIEF! *hugs the Chief, placing him closer to the collar*

The Chief: *gasping*

Kitty: Dudley, your collar!

Dudley: This is no time to admire my collar. GET YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT WOMEN!

The Chief: *passes out*

Dudley: *panics* HE'S GOING INTO SHOCK! Hang on, Chief. I'm gonna wrap you in my collar to keep you warm. *takes off collar and wraps it around the Chief* There, I think he's coming around.

The Chief: *face turns green; tongue falls out*

(Transition: an ambulance leaves T.U.F.F. with the Chief)

Dudley: Don't worry, Chief. As sure as my collar is shiny and lethal to fleas, I will find the fiends who did this to you!

Keswick: Should we try to explain it to him?

Kitty: Explaining things to Dudley is hard; we'd have to draw pictures and put on a puppet show. *pulls out a drawing of Dudley with a dead Chief and a puppet* Let's focus on who's going to replace the Chief while he recovers.

Keswick: Fortunately, there's a highly sophisticated method in place for choosing a t-t-temporary Chief; we draw names out of a old hat. *pulls out an old, beat up hat* I'm also planning to pick my wife this way. *chuckles* And the new Chief is...*sticks hand into hat and pulls out a piece of paper* Agent Puppy.

Dudley: BOOOOOO!

Kitty: You're Agent Puppy.

Dudley: Oh, right. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I'm gonna be the bestest Chief ever! First, I need a name tag. *takes out a name tag and starts writing out his name and places it on his chest* 

Kitty: That says 'Chef'.

Dudley: I know, I'm gonna make a lasagna later. *jumps over to the podium* AGENTS, LISTEN UP! Until we find the evil mastermind who took out the Chief, I'm putting us on high alert. I'll be testing you to keep you sharp...Kitty, can I talk to you in the Chief's office?

(Kitty and Dudley enters the Chief's office)

Dudley: *Grabs Kitty by her hand* STAY SHARP! *throws her out of the office* TRUST NO ONE!

(Transition; Keswick gets ready to relieve himself until Dudley surprises him by popping out of the toilet.)

Dudley: TRUST NO ONE! *Snatches Keswick and pulls him into the toilet*


Dudley: Hey guys, my lasagna's done!

(Agents rush over to the lasagna)

Agents: Mmmmm-

Dudley: *Jumps out of lasagna* TRUST NO ONE! AGHHHHHHH! *attacks agents* AAAAGHHAHHAHAHA!! HOT! CHEESE! *runs away*

(Transition: all of the agents are injured with broken arms and legs; some with more major injuries than others)

Kitty: *typing on the computer* Wow, Dudley is a terrible Chief. Luckily all the cities worst villains are out of commission.

Keswick: Are they in jail?

Kitty: No, they're at an evil softball tournament at Petsburgh.

(Scene switches over to the Evil Softball Tournament showing Snaptrap, Birdbrain and the Chameleon playing)

Snaptrap: I stole home! Seriously, I stole it. I also swiped the ref's watch. START THE CAR, LARRY! *runs away smiling*

(Switches back to T.U.F.F.)

Keswick: Well, if all the bad guys are out there playing s-s-softball then there's nothing to worry about.

(Transition: lightning strikes over the city with thunder following behind it; the screen turns white for a second then reveals the face of a new villain)

Meerkat: It's time to give Petropolis something to worry about! I call to order the first meeting of the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators: F.L.O.P.P.! ROLE CALL! Meerkat, oh that's me. And I'll have you know I'm no Mere cat, I'm the MEERKAT! Get it, Mere Cat, *pulls out a sign with 'Mere Cat' at the top and 'Meerkat' at the bottom* see the difference. You kinda have to write it down. *throws sign away* Moving on...Wanna-Bee?

Wanna-Bee: I'm here and I wanna be bad!

Meerkat: Oooh, I like your moxy. Missing Link, eh missing as usual. Fiddler Crab?

Fiddler Crab: *Plays fiddle but one of the strings snap and hit him in the eye*

Meerkat: Oh, that's a snappy ditty. Escape Goat?

Escape Goat: I'm here, and I'm forming my greatest escape yet! Has anyone seen a tiny key?!

Meerkat: Time to brainstorm a fiendish plan.

Wanna-Bee: Yeah! Let's do something super bad. *stops flying and falls in the creamer*

Meerkat: Oh dear, he's fallen in the creamer. Someone throw him a swizzle stick!

Fiddler Crab: *Grabs a stick and places it in the creamer for Wanna-Bee to climb out*

Escape Goat: Here's a plan, why don't we dine-n-dash?! *laughs*

Meerkat: Oooh, that's super evil. Let's do it!

(Meerkat, Wanna-Bee and Fiddler Crab flee the diner leaving Escape Goat behind. Escape Goat tries to get up but fails. The three look over at Escape Goat from the outside)

Escape Goat: Uh, I'm stuck; there's gum on my seat.

Meerkat: NO VILLAIN LEFT BEHIND! Everyone back inside. *The three run back to free Escape Goat*

Cashier: *picks up phone and calls T.U.F.F.* Uh, you got some weirdos at the diner who don't want to pay.

Dudley: *hangs phone* Guys, I've got Intel that some villains are trying to leave a diner without paying. I'm calling in an air-strike! *presses a red button with a skull and crossbones initiating the air-strike*

Kitty: Isn't that a little over the top?

Dudley: You're right. TO THE T.U.F.F. TANK!

(T.U.F.F. Tank appears)

Dudley: Good call, Kitty. High five! *raises hand in the air*

Kitty: *lifts hand* 

Dudley: *snatches Kitty by the hand* TRUST NO ONE! *throws Kitty across the room*

(Transition: Escape Goat is still stuck in his seat. Meerkat and the others are trying to pull him off by his horns. The cashier watches them as the ground begins to shake. The wall collapses as due to Dudley crashing in with the tank)

Dudley: You fiends are going away for a LONG TIME!

Kitty: Dudley, dining-n-dashing is only a $20 fine.

Dudley: $20 or not, no crime is too small for T.U.F.F.

Kitty: But you just did a $1,000 worth of damage to this diner. Look at this mess!

Dudley: Worth every penny of it!

Meerkat: Well done, people. We committed. our first diabolical crime! And we're only down $20. *hands $20 over to Dudley* F.L.O.P.P. AWAY!  *The members of F.L.O.P.P. flee the diner; Meerkat laughing as he runs away*

Dudley: Those F.L.O.P.P. guys are evil. They left without leaving a tip.

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