|"Toast Of T.U.F.F. (transcript)"|
|Season 1, Episode 9|
|Villain(s) Featured:|| R.I.T.A.|
Puppy Love (transcript)
The Chief: All right, T.U.F.F. Agents. Let's start the intelligents briefing. Keswick, bring item 1.
Keswick: Sorry, haha, that's me at a kids' birthday party yesterday. I do a little "Mr. Science" thing on the side. That reminds me, I gotta bring B-B-B-B-Billy Jinkins back from the fourth dimension.
Billy: Hello, Mr. Science, help!
The Chief: You worked a kids' party? I thought you were here yesterday.
Keswick: That was my hologram. In fact this isn't even m-m-m-m-m-me. I'm over there.
The Chef: Stop monkeying around, Keswick! We got a serious issue to deal with. One that threatens the very existence of T.U.F.F.: The toaster in the snack room is in the fritz!
Dudley: NOOOO!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE FROZEN WAFFLES I MY POCKET?!?! SOMEBODY WAKE ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE!
Kitty: Keswick, you have to do something! I BROUGHT TOASTER PASTRIES TODAY!!
Keswick: Actually, Agent K-K-Katswell, I'm over there.
All: Just fix the toaster!!!
Keswick: Alright, but I'm gonna need some time. Sorry I took so long, but I added a few u-u-u-upgrades. T.U.F.F agents, meet R.I.T.A.
R.I.T.A.: It's an anagram for "Robotic Interactive Toasting Appliance."
Keswick: I never thought of that, I just liked the name. I was also toying with Sheila, but she the f-fa-f-f-fax machine. Anyway, R.I.T.A.'s an artificially intelligent device whose prime-directed is to t-t-toast stuff.
Dudley: ME FIRST!!
R.I.T.A.: Waffles toasted.
Dudley: Whoa, so warm and golden-brown. It even got syrup on them. Keswick, you're a genius.
Keswick: I'm over there.
The Chief: Man, R.I.T.A.'s a good cook. I haven't eaten this well since the week I spent living on that German shepherd.
Keswick: RITA is wonderful, isn't she? So smart, sh-sh-sh-sh-shiny and w-w-warm.
Dudley: Man, you really gotta get out more. You know, meet a nice female version of a dog, or a kangaroo, or whatever it is you... are.
Kitty: I thought he was a labradoodle.
Dudley: He can't be, he's got a pouch.
The Chief: I wish everything in this office worked as well as R.I.T.A. Perfecto!
Kitty: Whoa, what's going on?
R.I.T.A.: The chief expressed a desire for a more efficient office. I've taken the Liberty of connecting. To the T.U.F.F. Mainframe.
Keswick: Hi, Beverly.
Dudley: Whoa, is this creeping you out at all?
Kitty: Totally, I just notice Keswick has gills.
The Chief: Attention, T.U.F.F. agents, I just received intel the Snaptrap is planning to blow up the moon! Heh, that moron thinks its made of cheese.
Dudley: It isn't? Why wasn't I told?
Kitty: We're on it, chief.
Snaptrap: And now, to blow up that stupid moon, once and for all! Just look at it up there, mocking me.
Ollie: Boss, I know you're allergic to cheese, but there's oh rather forward-thinking group of scientists who believe the moon is not in fact made of cheese.
Snaptrap: WHAT?! Why wasn't I told? I mean, uh, I knew that. If you must know, I'm blowing up the moon to get rid of the were-wolf problem. Sheesh.
Dudley: Freeze, Snaptrap! You're not blowing up the moon on my watch!
Snaptrap: I'm not using your watch, I'm using this big laser. Boy, it's like everyone's an idiot today.
R.I.T.A.: Snaptrap, apprehended.
Kitty: Wait, R.I.T.A. did that?
Dudley: Hey, no fair! We're the ones who was supposed to catch the bad guys! How would you like it if went to your house and made toast?
The Chief: If you two slowpokes still wanna catch a bad guy, then get over there to the Chameleons' lair.
The Chameleon: With one turn of this valve, I will released my real worm gasser to the skies of Petropolis, turning the city into my own private fun buffet. Now which way is on. Boy, I need my reading glasses. Aw, I'll should just get contacts.
Dudley: Freeze, freaky lizard!
R.I.T.A.: Chameleon, defeated.
Dudley: Aww, COME ON!! That's the second time she's done that! Stop catching bad guys for us!
Oh, the irony. I must resist the urge to eat myself. Well, maybe just a nibble. YEOW!!! How can something that taste so good feels so bad?
Look chief R.I.T.A. may have foiled the bad guys evil plans, but we're the ones who captured them.
Whoop-Dee-Doo. All you did was put the TUFF cops on Snaptrap, and the Chameleon into an empty peanut butter jar.
Yeah, but someone had to eat all the peanut butter first. And without a glass of milk I might add. Back off, R.I.T.A.
Agent RITA and I have been talking.
She asked for a promotion and I gave it to her. I also threw a parking space in their own secretary.
Thank you Tammy
So where is supposed to work with a toaster?
No Rita help me find the perfect assignment for the two of you.
I can't believe it's come to this. 8 years of secret agent college and I'm serving Swedish meatballs in a hairnet?
I know it's humiliating. But these things are delicious.
Well, at least it's quitting time. I'm going to go home and sharpen my claws on the couch. One second, I just want to clean up. DARN IT! I got gravy on my waffles.
Well closing time Rita. Great job today. You were the toast of TUFF. Now excuse me while I unplug you for the n-n-n-n-night.
I'm sorry Keswick, but I cannot allow you to unplug me.
But we're an eco-friendly office. OOWWW!!!
I run the office now, and I make the rules. Rule number one, one no one turns me off.
RITA aren't you getting c-c-c-carried away? You work for at TUFF just like everybody else.
Not anymore. And once I connect to the city power grid I will control all of Petropoulos.
RITA no! What have I d-d-d-d-done?
Tammy: (in Southern Accent) So you're out for the rest of the day then? OK.
Whoa, whoa, cafeteria's closed. There's a vending machine in the hall.
Dudley I think that is the vending machine -- And the fax machine in the microwave
It's RITA, she's gone b-b-b-bonkers.
Aaah paper cups
aaah paper cuts
AaAh paper clips
RITA's headed for the city ppppower grid
you two have to stop her or Petropoulos is toast.
Toast that's it.
Keswick, did you say RITA's prime directive is to toast?
Oh, I think I see where you're going, agent puppy. You want to build a satellite operated ttttransponder that will reprogram RITA.'s primary behavioral sequenceing?
I was going to tape some bread to my stomach and butt.
Little complicated, but it could work.
Hey Rita toast this.
Must toast. Bread.
Dudley it's working now leave her. To Lake Petropoulos and short her out.
You better do something fast, or I'm toast... Literally!
I'll handle this I created Rita. And I can reason with her.
Tape something to your butt!
Rita I can't help thinking this is my fault
it is your fault.
Duly noted, chief. RITA, deep down I know you're gggggood. Just show everyone the kind, gentle, sssshiny gal, I've come to love.
Your turn bread dog.
change of menu.
You did it! You saved Petropolis!
But we couldn't save Keswick.
Poor Keswick! He was such an awesome or.. kangaroo or.. whatever the heck he was!
Not now, Keswick. We're too sad about what happened to Keswick.
Wait a minute. Keswick? You're okay!
Well, my heart is bro- bro- broken, but it was only my hologram that got vaporised.
Oh, that's awesome! Keswick hug!
Actually, I'm over here.
Whoa! He's got webbed feet!
What is he?
He just laid an egg!