Snap Dad (transcript)

"Snap Dad (transcript)"
Season 1, Episode 16
Production Code:	108B
Airdate:	February 12, 2011
Villain(s) Featured:	D.O.O.M. without Snaptrap Bird Brain
Credits
Writer(s):	Ray DeLaurentis, Will Schifrin, Kevin Sullivan
Director(s):	Michelle Bryan
Storyboards by:	Fred Gonzales
Art Direction:	George Goodchild
Music by:	Guy Moon
Chronology
Previous Thunder Dog	Next Iron Mutt

This article is a transcript of the season one episode Snap Dad. It aired on February 12, 2011. Though this article is originally from the episode, it still may contain dialogue mistakes, grammar mistakes, and spelling errors so feel free to edit them.

Transcript

• Dudley: (driving home)
• Snaptrap: (laughing hysterically)
• Dudley: Oh, no! Snaptrap's in my house!
• Dudley: T.U.F.F. H.Q., this is Agent Puppy calling in a Code 5! Emergency! Snaptrap's got my mom!
• Keswick: Technically, a Code 5 means Snaptrap's got your uncle.
• Dudley: I don't have an uncle!
• Keswick: Then you're fine. Keswick out.
• Dudley: Keswick. My mom's in danger! Send backup!
• Keswick: Not 'till you give me the right code.
• Kitty: We're on our way, Dudley. (to Keswick) What is WRONG with you?
• Dudley: (in Dudley's House) Get away from my mom Snaptrap! (tackles Snaptrap)
• Peg: Dudley! What are you doing!
• Dudley: I'm saving you from an evil super villain who was just about to share delicious looking microwave egg rolls with you. (walks over to the plate and eats all of the egg rolls, talks with mouth full) What's going on here?!?
• Peg: I invited Mr. Snaptrap over for some refreshments. We met at the laundromat.
• Snaptrap: Your mother's a wizard with the stain stick. 
• Peg: Well, a big, strong, handsome man like you shouldn't be walking around with ketchup stains on his shirt.
• Snaptrap: Yeah. Ketchup. That's what it was. Lots and lots of ketchup.
• Dudley: Whoa! Whoa! WHOA!! Are you two on a--- (faces turns green then turns normal)  ---DATE?!? 
• Peg: I guess you could say that, right Verminous? 
• Snaptrap: Call me 'Vermy', Peggy Poo. (the two hold hands as black and pink hearts rise from them) 
• Dudley: 'Vermy'?!? 'PEGGY POO'?!? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (Dudley faints) 
• (some time later) Peg: Dudley, are you okay?
• Dudley: Oh, thank goodness, I had that most horrible dream that you and Snaptrap where on a date. 
• Snaptrap: Is our brave little soldier awake? 
• (Dudley screams as Kitty and the other T.U.F.F. agents arrive on the T.U.F.F. tank)
• Kitty: Snaptrap, you are under arrest for (pause) Dudley, what are we arresting him for? 
• Dudley: Dating my mom!
• Keswick: There's no code for that you'll just have to faint again. (Dudley drops his mom and faints again)
• Peg: Everyone calm down, Vermy's paid his debt to society, and he's agreed to go straight, for me,
• Snaptrap: That's right Peggy Poo, and I'll prove it, watch this. (pulls out his cell phone and calls D.O.O.M.)
• Ollie: (picks up phone) Diabolical Order of Mayhem, we deliver evil in 30 minutes or it's free. 
• Snaptrap: Hey, it's Snaptrap. I followed up with a lady dog at the laundromat, and I'm resigning as the leader of D.O.O.M. (Ollie in surprise drops drink he's holding) Tell Larry I'll miss him least of all. Snaptrap out, forever! (hangs up) 
• Ollie: Hey, everyone, Snaptrap quit! Dibs on his stuff! (everyone smiles and runs toward Snaptrap's stuff)
• (back at Dudley's house) Snaptrap: That was hard, they were devastated. (opens phone and hears their joy about him quitting) 
• Peg: But now your an unemployed dead beat! Hoo, wait, why don't you T.U.F.F. agents give Vermy a job?
• Kitty: No, way, the Chief would never hire Snaptrap!
• The Chief: Snaptrap, your hired. Hey, he knows how the criminal mind works, he can help us get the jump on every bad guy in town.
• Snaptrap: I want a corner office, a corpried credit card, and a company car.
• The Chief: I'll give you a desk in the janitor's closet, a T.U.F.F. pencil, and some bus tokens. 
• Snaptrap: Ooo, I love the bus, deal! 
• Dudley: (wakes up) Huh, what did I miss? 
• Kitty: The Chief just hired Snaptrap to work for T.U.F.F.!
• (Dudley faints again) Snaptrap: Wait for it. Their we go.
• (back at T.U.F.F.) (Dudley yawns and attempts to pick up the last doughnut in the box, but Snaptrap beats him to it)
• Snaptrap: Morning, fellow crime stoppers. Like me tuxedo? I stole it, I mean rented it forever. Hey, when do I get paid?
• Dudley: Look, Snaptrap.
• Snaptrap: Call me Vermy, you know, the way things are getting heating up between me and your mom, pretty soon you might be calling my Snap Dad or Dad Trap.
• (Dudley screams as his eyeballs fall into his mouth) 
• Snaptrap: Ooh, a vending machine, I totally want trail mix! (blows the machine up with his blaster) 
• Dudley: Snaptrap!
• Snaptrap: Snap Dad.
• Dudley: You can't just come in here and blow up venting machines, your a good guy now, good guys don't steal!
• Snaptrap: Your right, I'm gonna be good. Hey, look, it's the Easter Bunny.
• Dudley: Where!!! (Snaptrap picks up one of the trail mixes he said he wasn't going to steal and eats it as Dudley looks for the Easter Bunny)
• The Chief: Oh, boy, the Easter Bunny's here!
• Snaptrap: You just missed him, but he brought you some trail mix. (Snaptrap throws the bag of trail mix and it clobbers the Chief) 
• The Chief: Aww, he always brings me trail mix. Anyway, Agent's Puppy and Katswell, I want you to take Snaptrap with you on a stakeout.
• Kitty: Aww, do we have do? He bugs us!
• Dudley: And he's dating my mom!
• The Chief: But he may be able to help, we got new Intel that someone is breaking in somewhere and stealing something. Man, this is a lousy Intel. Just ride around and listen for alarms.
• (In the T.U.F.F. Mobile)
• Snaptrap: Are we there, I'm bored let's play a game. I spy with my little eye, Yeah, I'm bored again. (the phone rings) Hi, Peggy Poo, what, oh, nothing just being the best secret agent ever. No, you say it first, no you. Alright, I'll say it, I wove you. (Dudley vomits out the window of the T.U.F.F. Mobile) I better go, you hang up first, no, you, no, you. (Dudley blasts the phone) Guess I hung up first. 
• (everyone hears a bell and jumps out of the T.U.F.F. Mobile at at building. Everyone sneaks in with the exception of Snaptrap who strolls in)
• Dudley: Snaptrap.
• Snaptrap: Dad Trap.
• Dudley: Your an ex bad guy, where do you think the bad guys are hiding?
• Snaptrap: Beats me, why don't we just turn the lights on? (he turns on the lights as the camera roll out to see Bird Brain and his new unnamed henchmen stealing items) Hey, it's Bird Brain and he's stealing bird baths! There, I cracked the case. Yay, me!  (Bird Brain laughs and drives crazily out of the building as everyone jumps for cover) Smooth move, guys you let him get away. Your mother's gonna be so disappointed, but I won't tell her, it'll be our little secret, son. (Dudley's face turns green)
• (back in the T.U.F.F. Mobile) 
• Snaptrap: (sleeping and drooling out the window of the T.U.F.F. Mobile) Man, this job's boring. You guys want to rob something! 
• Dudley: We're good guys, remember!
• Snaptrap: Hey, I'm not saying we knock over a bank, maybe just steal some kid's lunch money.
• The Chief: (on monitor) Attention agents, Agent's Puppy, Katswell, and Snaptrap. We just received Intel that Mad Cow is breaking out of Petropolis Prison.
• Snaptrap: Mad Cow, that guy owes me five bucks. I'm driving! (throws Dudley into passenger seat and takes the wheel) (he floors it as Mad Cow appears in a milk truck) Oh, lookie, (pulls over the car sending Dudley and Kitty flying as he stops at a flower stand) Which do you think Peg would like better, the azaleas or the chrysanthemums?
• Dudley: Ahhh! I can't take it anymore! (he pulls Snaptrap out of the car and tackles him) I don't care if you do know the Easter Bunny, I want you out of my life! (the bone phone rings) Hello? Mom, are you crying?
• Peg: Yes, Dudley, but their tears of joy, just knowing that the two men in my life are working side by side fills me with glee! See you tonight, I made meatloaf with onions, which is also why I'm crying. 
• (he hangs up) Snaptrap: You were saying?
• Dudley: That I love working with you. Now, let's go pull Kitty out of that tree. 
• Snaptrap: Okay! I'll hook the hitch to her teeth! 
• (the scene returns to the T.U.F.F. Mobile with a scratched Kitty with a bird's nest on her head) 
• Snaptrap: Hey, guys look what I found a the cash register at the flower stand. Lunch is on me! 
• Dudley: (grabs the money and tosses it back to the flower stand lady) Sorry.
• (scene doesn't change but they are now driving in a different place) 
• Snaptrap: Are you guys mad about the money thing? Please, don't be mad, I couldn't take it if you were mad.
• Kitty and Dudley: Were, not mad!
• Snaptrap: Oh boy, that's a relief. I'm not calling ya liars but you sounded a little mad.
• The Chief: (on monitor) Attention agents, get to First Petropolis Bank someone's holding it up.
• Snaptrap: Ooh, a bank robbery. That's sounds like fun! I mean, let's stop those fends! (they drive to first Petropolis Bank and go in) 
• Dudley: Freeze! 
• (Ollie and Larry are seen robbing a safe and gasp at the agents, while Francisco hides behind a pole and shoots Dudley and Kitty with a net) 
• Snaptrap: Well, what a ca waking  it's my old pals from D.O.O.M. Hey, fellas, what's shaking? 
• Kitty: Snaptrap, blast em!
• Snaptrap: Oh, right, the good guy thing. (pulls out blaster and attempts to shoot them) I'm sorry, I just can't do it.
• Dudley: What!!!
• Snaptrap: I can blast Larry, no problem, (he blasts Larry who screams and says Ow, My Eye!) but Ollie and Fransisco are like family to me. When, I had my wisdom teeth out, Ollie brought me stolen comic books, and when I lost my pet hamster Francisco apologized for eating it. Go on guys, get out of here before I start to cry. (they sneak out while Snaptrap trips Larry) (Snaptrap blasts the T.U.F.F. Agents out of the net) 
• Dudley: Snaptrap!
• Snaptrap: Snap Dad. 
• Dudley: I can't believe you let them get away. Face it, your a bad guy and you always will be!
• Snaptrap: That's not true, I've been a model citizen. If you don't count: letting my friends go, the vending machine I blasted, letting that cow escape, and a little thing or two I picked up here and there. (stuff falls from Snaptrap's pants including gold coins, gold bars, a safe, and other expensive items including Kitty's cell phone) 
• Kitty: Is that my cell phone?
• Snaptrap: Noo, (sigh) Yes, (begins crying)  I can't be good! I tried really hard for Peg, but let's face it! I'm bad to the bone!
• Dudley: Well, your going to have to stop dating my mom, and quit your job at T.U.F.F.
• Snaptrap: Your right Agent Puppy, I guess its over between me and Peggy Poo, and to think I was gonna give her this ring.
• Kitty: That's my ring!
• (scene changes the Dudley's house once again) 
• Snaptrap: So, Peg, now that I'm back at D.O.O.M., I guess our love is doomed.
• Peg: Oh, Vermy, Thank you for being honest and for at least trying to change. I'm sorry we can't be together.
• Snaptrap: Goodbye, Peg, We'll always have the laundromat. Here, I stole your stain stick. (he hands her the stain stick, walks out, but sneaks in and grabs the stain stick back) 
• Dudley: Mom, are you okay?
• Peg: Sure, Dudley, the truth is, I saw the writing on the wall, seriously he wrote on the wall. Besides, I met another nice man at the grocery store. (they walk into the kitchen to find the Chameleon eating bugs)
• The Chameleon: Hey, toots, can I have a glass of milk to wash down these crickets? 
• Dudley: The Chameleon!!! (faints just as he did with Snaptrap's case) 
• The Chameleon: Oh, I didn't know you had kids.
• Peg: Is that a problem? 
• Chameleon: No, I (pause) Hey, look it's the Easter Bunny! (as Peg looks away the Chameleon runs away laughing)
• Dudley: Why do I always miss the Easter Bunny!?
• (Dudley, Kitty, and the Easter Bunny do a pose) 
• (the END!)