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"Puppy Unplugged (transcript)"
Season 2, Episode 44
Puppy Unplugged Title Card
Production Code: 123B
Airdate: May 6, 2012
Villain(s) Featured: Bird Brain
Credits
Writer(s): Kevin Sullivan,
Will Schifrin,
Ray DeLaurentis
Art Direction: George Goodchild
Music by: Guy Moon
Chronology
Previous
Dudley Do-Wrong (transcript)
Next
Top Dog (transcript)

This article is a transcript of the T.U.F.F. Puppy episode "Puppy Unplugged" from Season 2. It aired on May 6, 2012.

Transcript

(Episode starts off at T.U.F.F. Headquarters; late at night)

Dudley: Look out, Kitty! (Kitty stands in front of him, blocking his view) Seriously, look out! You're blocking the monitor!

Kitty: (Blows raspberry at Dudley)

(Monitor displays "Chicken Zombies 2")

Dudley: Game on, chicken zombies! You are dead white and dark meat! (Waves controller to symbolize attacking the zombies) You can't eat my brain, chicken zombies!

Keswick: (Has on headgear controlling his eyes for some odd reason: To Dudley) I don't see why they would. It'd be more of a l-l-l-light snack than a meal. (His machine makes only one eye blink) Whoops! I accidentally set this thing to "Creepy Wink", and it's m-mah-making me look a little crazy. (Nervously laughs: switches settings to "Blink") There. That's not creepy at all.

Mailwoman: (Holds package) Package for the Chief.

Chief: Yay! It's the electric salad spinner I ordered!

Kitty: Aren't you getting a little carried away with the online shopping, Chief? You don't even eat salad.

Chief: No, but I do love to spin it! (Turns on salad spinner) WHEEEEEEE!

(Kitty has bits of salad on her; is irritated: Dudley has gotten the high score on his game)

Dudley: (Excited) YES! I did it! (Dashes over to Kitty, who is picking the salad bits off of her) I am now the official champion of Chicken Zombies 2: (while turning his head) THE PECKONIIING! When I log in my score, I'll be famous! You know, amongst a small group of people who don't have jobs and live in their mom's basement!

(Cut to Snaptrap, in his mother's basement playing World of Ratcraft)

Snaptrap: Mom! If my friends from D.O.O.M come by, tell 'em I'm in the basement playing World of Ratcraft!

(Dudley prepares to log in his high score, but static appears on the screen; is shocked: Bird Brain appears on the screen briefly after)

Bird Brain: It is I, Bird Brain, broadcasting to you live from space to unveil my most evil plan yet!

Owl: Who?

Bird Brain: Me!

Bat: Where?

Bird Brain: In space! And you all wonder why I hired my new henchman - Duck!

(Owl, Bat, and Zippy duck)

Bird Brain: Don't duck! That's his name!

Dudley: Hurry up, Bird Brain! I still have to log in my high score!

Bird Brain: Oh, yes. Sorry. Um, where was I?

Zippy: In space, boss. You just said so.

Bird Brain: You want me to cut the cabin pressure again?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?! Anyway, I'm going to disable all technology on Earth, including electric salad spinners!

Chief: (Upset) NOOO! You madman!

Bird Brain: Yes! And once that's done with, I will control all cell phone plans in the world, and here's the really evil part - I'll be charging you all a slightly higher rate with NO family plan discounts! (Laughs crazily) In a matter of seconds, your technology will be rendered useless, like my henchmen. (sees Owl, Bat, and Zippy outside the ship) How did you even get out there? I child-proofed the whole ship! (Activates technology disabling device; power stars to go out)

(Cut to Snaptrap again; Still in the basement, noticing the power's out)

Snaptrap: Mom! The lights went out! I'm getting a little scared! Hey, where's the nachos you promised?!

(Cut to mall; escalators stop working: then to amusement park; roller coaster stops: then to T.U.F.F Headquarters; power is slowly going out: Dudley, Kitty, Chief, and Keswick scream in terror)

Dudley: AAH! I need to log in my hig score! (stops) D'URRH! My mind froze! How do I spell my name?! WHAT IS MY NAAAME?! (power goes out) NOOOOOOOOOO!!

(All power in the world is gone)

Chief: Quick, everyone! Take these scented candles I ordered online!

(Dudley and Kitty light the candles)

Chief: Ah, that's better. We're all doomed, but at least the room smells like spiced pumpkin.

Keswick: (Still has headgear controlling his eyes; machine is stuck) GAAAH! My eyes are stuck open! Oh, I guess I p-puh-picked a bad time to peel an onion!

Kitty: (notices Dudley's eyes watering) Dudley, are you crying about your high score?

Dudley: No. (holds onion) I just picked a bad time to peel an onion, too. Oh, right! My high score! No one knows I kicked all that chicken zombie butt! I'M NOTHING NOW! (falls over; curls into a fetal position)

Kitty: We've got bigger problems. Without technology, the world is plummeting into chaos! Look outside! Cars aren't working, the bridge is stuck, and that plane is suspended in mid-air! What's gonna happen to those poor people when they run out of peanuts?!

Chief: Bird Brain's got us right where he wants us. (Fading up to Bird Brain's ship) We're sitting ducks.

Bird Brain: Stop sitting, Duck! We're in trouble!

Owl: Who?

Bird Brain: Us! Ironically, my technology disabling device disabled our own technology. We're trapped in space, and we're running out of PEANUTS!

Bat: Where?

Bird Brain: (confused) I don't know exactly where. Space is quite big, after all. But we've got to do something!

Owl: Who?

Bird Brain: And around we go! (everyone in the ship floats) Oh, great. Now, we've lost gravity.

Zippy: Look on the bright side, boss. You can finally fly! Duck!

Bird Brain: Yes. The duck can fly, too. (Gets stricken by a chair) EGH! Oh, you meant the other "duck". (floats to window; sees he is hurdling towards the sun) Oh, no! We're caught in the sun's gravity! We've got to send a message out! Duck!

(Owl, Bat and Zippy duck)

Bird Brain: No! The duck is our communications officer! (Stutters) Never mind! (grabs a rock; writes message) I shall do it myself! (tosses rock out of window)

(Rock heads towards T.U.F.F; hits Keswick in the head)

Keswick: Ow! A rock!

Dudley: (catches rock) It's a message from Bird Brain! (reads rock) "Dear T.U.F.F, my power is out and I'm being pulled towards the sun! Help me!"

Chief: Why would we help Bird Brain?

(another rock lands on Keswick)

Keswick: Ow! Another rock!

Kitty: (catches and reads rock) "Because the only way to restore Earth's power is to fix my device and reverse the pulse! Sincerely"...

(a third rock hits Keswick)

Keswick: Ow! Stitches!

Kitty: "Bird Brain"!

Dudley: We have to get the power back, Kitty, or I'll never log in my high score! Did I mention I'm nothing now?

Keswick: (pulls out chalkboard) If my calculations are correct, the sun's rays will vaporize Bird Brain in about 45 minutes.

Chief: Well, even if we do recover the device, how do we turn it on without power?

Keswick: I may have something that can help us; a safely made-power source, and by that, I mean dangerous and completely illegal.

Kitty: Where'd you get something like that?

Keswick: (defensive) Well, I certainly didn't trade samples of your DNA to an alien race for it, if THAT'S what you're thinking! (nervously laughs)

(Cut to alien ship with clones of Dudley and Kitty piloting it)

Bird Brain: Is anyone seeing a lot of similar-looking T.U.F.F agents?

Owl: Who?

Bird Brain: (giving up) I withdraw the question.

(Transition to T.U.F.F; near Keswick's lab)

Keswick: The power source is in my lab. Come on!

Dudley: Man, things have gone downhill here fast.

Chief: You said it! Things have gone so bad, everyone's paying for office supplies with shark teeth, (shows random agents making a transaction) which is making it very hard for Agent Hammerhead to eat his peanut brittle.

(Shark tries to eat peanut brittle, but fails)

Keswick: (spots power source) There it is!

Dudley: (grabs the power source: traps activate in an Indiana Jones fashion; Dudley successfully dodges the traps) I got it! It was next to this paper that says "Planet Keswick"! What's that?

Keswick: (defensive again) Well, that's not what the Earth will be called once the aliens take over, if that's what you're thinking! (nervously laughs and blushes)

Kitty: Let's go, Dudley! (notices Dudley is gone) Dudley?

(Cut to Dudley, using the power source to power multiple items at once)

Dudley: Good news, guys! I used this power source to power up my game, this microwave to cook my burrito,the photo copier, and the Chief's electric salad spinner!

Chief: (riding in the salad spinner) WHEEEEEEE!

Dudley: Now, all I have to do is log in my high score!

(The Chief's salad spinner abruptly stops, and so does everything else)

Kitty: (slightly irritated) Dudley! You drained all the power!

Dudley: NOO! I'm nothing again! And my burrito is still frozen in the middle!

Keswick: Don't panic. The power source is self-charging. It'll be ready in about 94 years.

(Dudley, Kitty, and the Chief panic)

Keswick: Psyche! (chuckles) That's in alien time. For us, it'll be about a half-hour.

Dudley: Perfect! I can use that time to send this picture of my butt to my friend, Phil! Oh, wait. Phil already has a copy of my butt. I gave it to him as a wedding gift!

(Transition to Bird Brain's ship; he is near to vaporization)

Bird Brain: (in despair) What have I done, Zippy?!

Zippy: You mean when you disabled technology and ironically sealed your own fate in the process?

Bird Brain: No! I mean why did I give my last juice box (cut to Owl, Bat, and Duck in a little pool) to those numbskulls?! (looks out the window) I can't believe this is the end. How much time do we have, Duck?

(Owl, Bat, and Duck dive in the pool; a submarine scope pops up)

Bird Brain: Boy, that's gotten old. Duck, we could save ourselves a lot of confusion if you just told us your first name!

Duck: Skip.

Bird Brain: Brilliant! Skip! (Owl and Bat skip) Stop it! Stop skipping! That's his name! I swear, Zippy. The sun cannot vaporize us fast enough.

(Transition to T.U.F.F; the power source is recharged)

Chief: It's working! The power source is fully charged! (sees Keswick sleeping off frame) Keswick?

Keswick: (sleeping with his eyes open; wakes up stuttering) Sorry, Chief. I dozed off. I'd give a million shark teeth to c-clah-close my eyes again.

Chief: (to Dudley and Kitty) You two better get to that ship! Things are getting prehistoric fast down there!

(Cut to city streets; there are bonfires lit, everyone's acting like cave people, and a dinosaur is on the loose. Ridiculous, ain't it?)

Kitty: Come on, Dudley! The power source won't last for long! We've only got 10 minutes!

Dudley: (grabs powers source) Great! That's just enough time to finish heating my burrito!

(Kitty pulls Dudley; Dudley manages to grab his burrito on the way out: they take the T.U.F.F Shuttle into space to get Bird Brain's ship)

Bird Brain: We're done for! So many things left unsaid! Skip! (Owl, Bat, Zippy, and Duck skip) Stop skipping! We're running out of oxygen!

Kitty: (uses shuttle claw to grab hold of Bird Brain's ship) We did it, Dudley! Now, let's get this ship back to T.U.F.F!

(The T.U.F.F Shuttle get's caught in the sun's gravity)

Dudley: Kitty, Earth's the other way!

Kitty: (worried) I know! We're caught in the sun's gravity!

Dudley: On the upside, my burrito's finally done! (eats burrito; burns himself) YEOOW! (lisping) I burned my mouth! This is the worst day ever!

Kitty: (holding Dudley; worried) We're doomed, Dudley!

Dudley: (notices ship) No, we're not! Look, we're saving us! (the ship is filled with the Dudley and Kitty clones) Whoa, what was in this burrito? (The clones are able to pull T.U.F.F and Bird Brain away from the sun and back to Earth) Thanks, handsome alien dogs and your scrawny cat sidekicks! (Kitty is slightly irritated; Dudley smiles slyly at Kitty)

(Transition to Bird Brain's ship outside T.U.F.F)

Bird Brain: We're alive!

Kitty: And you're going to jail!

Owl: Who?

Bird Brain: Us! She means us!

Dudley: Duck.

Bird Brain: His name's Skip! (hits head on doorway) EGH! Oh, you meant the other "duck". (falls down stairs from his ship) (disoriented) I hate my life!

(Cut to T.U.F.F; about to restore technology)

Chief: Good work, agents! Now, hit that switch!

(Dudley hits switch to restore power on Earth; the escalators at the mall work again, the roller coaster at the amusement park continues to move, and Snaptrap's lights come back on)

Snaptrap: Hey, the lights are back on. Mom, bring me my nachos or perish!

Dudley: Now, I can finally log in my high score!

(Suddenly, chicken zombies appear out of nowhere)

Chicken Zombie: (moaning) We're here to eat your - ba-bawk-bawk! - brains!

Dudley: Ah, they're real! How did this happen?!

Keswick: (with his headgear off) Well, it's not because I made a deal with a race of chicken zombies, if that's what you're thinking. (chicken zombies surround Keswick) I mean, RUUUUN!!

(Dudley and Keswick flee from the chicken zombies)

(Ending gag with the chicken zombies, Dudley, and Keswick)

[THE END]

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