"Monkey Business (transcript)"
Season 2, Episode 47
Monkey Business Title Card.png
Production Code: 125A
Airdate: April 21, 2012
Villain(s) Featured: Bird Brain
Writer(s): Kevin Sullivan,
Will Schifrin,
Ray DeLaurentis
Art Direction: George Goodchild
Music by: Guy Moon
Quack in the Box (transcript)
Diary of a Mad Cat (transcript)

This article is a transcript of the T.U.F.F. Puppy episode "Monkey Business" from Season 2. It aired on April 21, 2012.


  • (Episode Starts With A Blimp That Says "Hunky Monkeys")
  • Kitty: (Shrieks) I Can't Believe We're Seeing The Hunky Monkeys In Concert. How'd You Get Us Great Seats,Chief?
  • The Chief: I Blew The Entire Tuff Budget. [?] Busness Is Useful Instead We Won't Have Heat Or Running Water. And Instead Of High Tech Weapons, We'll Have To Use Pointy Sticks.
  • Dudley : I Hate The Hunky Monkeys, They Think They're So Cool. Just Because They Have Opposable Thumbs And They Can Sing And They're Really Good Dancers And They Have Their Own Submarines Which They Can Drive Because They Have Opposable Thumbs. I Wish I Were Them!
  • Keswick: Well If You Don't Like The Band Why Didn't You Stay Back At Tuff?
  • Dudley: It's Cold At Tuff. The Cheif Didn't Pay The Heating Bill.
  • Chief: Hey You Want Heat Or Hunkey Monkey T-shirts!?
  • Announcer: Put Your Hands Together For The Tire-Swinging Sillian Sounds Of The Hunky Monkeys! (Huge Banana Comes And Peels And Hunky Monkeys Come Out) Bingo, Bango, and Robespierre.
  • Bingo: Aw, This One's For You Girls (Points At Audience)
  • Cheif: Yay!
  • Robespirre: And The Weird Old Dude He Likes Us.
  • Chief: (Gasps) That's Me, I'm Famous!
  • Hunky Monkeys: Dude You're A Girl But That Don't Mean A Thing Cause You're A Dude Girl. Dude Dude Girl Girl (Verse Starts And Dudley Howls)
  • Kitty: Dudley, Stop Howling!
  • Dudley: I Can't Help It! It's Like They're Stabbing My Ears With Musical Knives.
  • Chief: Pipe Down. I Didn't Sell The Tuff Space Shuttle In A Yard Sale So You Can Ruin This Concert. I Love You Robespirre!
  • (Bird Brain Appears)
  • Bird Brain: Before We Carry Out Today's Diabolical Plan I'd Like You All To Introduce You To My Newest Henchmen, Ewe!
  • Zippy: Me?
  • Bird Brain: No Ewe!
  • Owl: Who?
  • Bird Brain: Ewe
  • Bat: Where?
  • Bird Brain: There Right Next To Duck. (Henchmen Duck) Don't Duck Oh!!!!! On To The Plan! While Locating My FaceBeak Status To "Still Unbelievibly Single", Accidentally Discovered A Paralell Universe Where All Blue Bottomed Boobies Are Perfect. (Shows Hologram Of Universe) There It Is, The Blue Bottomed Boobieverse AKA The Bloobyverse. And Once I'm There I Have None Of My Courage For Shortcomings. I'd Be Able To Fly, Properly Refold A Map, And Sleep Through The Night Without Laying An Egg. I'd Be A Superbooby.
  • Zippy: Then How Are You Gonna Get To The Blubyverse, Boss.
  • Bird Brain: The Harminaized Sounds Of The Band Called The "Hunky Monkeys" Create A Sonic Portal To The Other Dimension.
  • Zippy: Really?
  • Bird Brain: And Once I Capture Them And Amplify Their Sound, I'll Be Able To Cross Over To The Bluby Verse!
  • Zippy: Can We Come With You?
  • Bird Brain: Well As Non-Boobies You'll Be Instantly Vaporized So The Answer Is Yes!!! (Hugs Henchmen) Please Come Along.
  • (Slide To Consert)
  • Hunky Monkeys: (Verse) I Call You Dude Cause I Don't Know Too Many Bigger Words Girl. (Pre-Chourus) Big Waves They Hurt My Head.
  • (Keswick And Kitty Scream)
  • Dudley:AHHHHHH!! I Can Still Hear The Music! If I Had Apposable Thumbs, I'd Stick Them In My Ears! (Takes Of Kitty And Keswick's T-shirts) (*Sighs*)
  • The Hunky Monkeys: (Soft Part) Well Cause You Can Seem Like A Girl.
  • (Villians Crash Through Ceiling Then Take Monkeys)
  • Kitty: Oh No. Bird Brain Is Trying To Steal The Monkeys!
  • Dudley (Moronly): I Got T-shirts In My Ea-rs. (Kitty Points Him To Monkeys)
  • Bango: Help
  • Robespierre: Help
  • Bingo: Help.
  • All: Girl!!
  • (Heroes Save them)
  • Bird Brain: Tuff Is At The Concert! Retreat!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Owl: Who?
  • Bird Brain: You!!
  • Zippy: Just The Sheep?
  • Bird Brain: No, Follow Me! (Audience Follows Bird Brain) Not You You're The Audience.
  • Kitty: We're Tuff Agents And You're Gorgeous. I Mean, Are You All Right?
  • Dudley: And Don't Sing The Answer!
  • The Hunky Monkeys: We're Alright Thanks To You Girl!
  • Dudley: Ah. What Did I Just Tell You?
  • Chief: For Some Reason, Bird Brain is After You Guys. We Need To Take You Back To Tuff Where You'll Be Safe.
  • Dudley: ...And Cold.
  • Keswick: Come On Everybody. F-F-Follow Me! (Audience Follows Keswick) No You, You're The Audience. Honestly.
  • (Slide To Tuff)
  • Chief: Welcome To Tuff Hunky Monkeys. I Installed Some Tire Swings So You'd Feel At Home.
  • Kitty: I Thought We Went Broke Buying The Consert Tickets.
  • Chief: I Didn't BUY The Tires, I Took'em off The T.U.F.F. Mobile. (Tuff Moble Falls)
  • Kitty: Guys, Can You Think Of Any Reasons Why Bird Brain Is After You?
  • Bingo: Ha Probably Because We're Really Good Singers And Dancers.
  • Bango: And We Have Our Own Submarines
  • Robespirre: Which We Can Drive Because We Have Apposable Thumbs.
  • All: Hey!
  • Dudley: Make It Stop!
  • Keswick: Don't Worry, Guys. We Have A High-Tech Security System. No One Can Get In. You Won't Be Able To Get Out Unless I Let You. (*Giggles*)
  • Dudley (Whispering): Tile It Down, Keswick.
  • Kitty: AH!! The Hunky Monkeys Are Gone.
  • Dudley: Yes. I Mean What A Terrible Tragedy For The Music Business And Mankind In General. Who Wants Cereal?
  • Keswick:They Left A Note. It Says "Girl And Weird Old Dude, We've Been Kidnapped By Bird Brain"
  • Kitty: What Happened To Our High-Tech Security System.
  • Chief:[?] Concert Tickets.
  • Bird Brain: Haha!! I'm Back.
  • Kitty: Are You Going To Tell Us Why You Took The Hunky Monkeys?
  • Bird Brain: No I'm Calling To Report An Accident. I Crashed My Whirly Bird On The Corner Of 5th And Vaune.
  • The Hunky Monkeys:He Was Texting While Driving.
  • Bird Brain:Silience. If Your Haunues Harmonies Didn't Open A Sonic Portal To An Alternate Dimension Where I Have Hair, I Would Have Nothing To Do With You.
  • Ewe:Baaa?
  • Bird Brain: Not You, Ewe.
  • Owl:Who?
  • Bird Brain:Don't Start With Me,Owl.
  • Keswick:Whoa, Hold The Phone,Bird Brain. What's That About An Alternate D-D-Dimension?
  • Bird Brain:Oh Yes. I'm Movng To The Blubyverse. And The Sounds Of These Musical Monkeys Will Open The Portal That Gets Me There. Bird Brain,Out, Haha Forever. (Turns Of Transmission)
  • Keswick:We Have To Stop Him. If One Person From One Universe Enters Another, It Destroys The Universe They Leave Behind. (Transmission Of Universe Blows Uo)
  • Kitty:How Do You Know That?
  • Keswick: Well The Story Begins Long Ago In An Alternate Universe Called Keswickia Which No L-L-Longer Exists But You Can't Pin That On Me!
  • Chief:Agents Puppy And Katswell Stop Bird Brain.Grab Your Pointy Sticks And Get Out There.
  • (Dudley And Kitty Point Pointy Sticks In Eye)
  • Both:Ow!
  • Chief:On Second Thought Leave The Sticks. I Think I'm Gonna Roast Marshmellows Later.
  • (Slide To Bird Brain's Lair And He Puts Collar On Hunky Monkeys)
  • Hunkey Monkeys:(Pre-Chourus) We'll Never Sing For You Evil Bird, Girl!
  • Bird Brain:I'm A Boy Bird, And You Just Did.Now You'll Sing Even Louder! (Puts Fingers On Keyboard And Shock Hunky Monkeys)
  • Hunky Monkeys:Ow Ow Ow Girl!
  • Bird Brain:The Portal Should Be Open Where Is It?
  • Zippy:The GPS Said It Opened In The Middle Of Mr. Wong's Chinese Buffet Across Town.
  • Bird Brain:Everyone Grab A Monkey And Some Tokens. According To The Bus Schedule If We Take The No. 2 Bus At 3rd Street,We'll Be There In 20 Minutes.That Is If There's No Construction And We Catch All The Lights. Hurry We Only Have Till Ten.
  • Zippy:Is That When The Portal Closes, Boss?
  • Bird Brain:No That's When Mr. Wong's Closes. I Want To Grab An Order Of Shrimp Rolls Before I Blow This Dimension.
  • (Slide To Tuff Mobile)
  • Chief:Agents Puppy And Katswell, We Just Recieved Intell That The Portal Has Opened At Mr.Wong's Get Over Their And Stop Bird Brain,Or As Fast As You Can Go On One Tire. (Shows Tuff Mobile's Missing Tires)
  • Bird Brain:There It Is Zippy. The Universe That Has United Me All These Years.Hey,Wong! Where's The 15th Order Of Shrimp Rolls?!

(Dudley And Kitty Bust Through Door)

  • Kitty:Freeze Bird Brain. If You Go Through That Portal, It'll Destroy Our World.
  • Bird Brain:As Long As I Get My Shrimp Rolls,I Don't Care. What's The Holdup Wong?!
  • Mr. Wong:You Keep Your Shirt On, Birdbath!!
  • Bird Brain:Ok I'm Going Through That Portal And There's Nothing You Can Do To Stop Me. (Plays Keyboard Again)
  • Hunky Monkeys:OW!!!!!
  • (Dudley Howls)
  • Bird Brain:Oh No. You're Doing Something To Stop Me. That Howling Interfering With The Band's Harmonious Sonic Wave!! (Smacks Zippy)
  • Kitty:Thats It Keep Howling!!
  • Dudley:Like I Can Help Myself?! (Howls)
  • Bird Brain:I Have To Go It's No Or Never For Me!
  • Owl:Who?
  • Bird Brain:I'll Miss You Least Of All Owl.
  • (Bird Brain Starts To Jump Through Portal And Giggles.)
  • Owl:Who?
  • Duck:Quack!
  • Ewe:Baa.
  • Bat:Where?
  • (Bird Brain Laughs. Portal Closes. Bird Brain Gets Ran Into Gong And Gets Sent To Petropolis Prison.)
  • Kitty: Are You Guys Busy Friday Night? I Mean,Alright.
  • Hunky Monkeys:We're All Good Thanks To T.U.F.F. And We Know How To Thank You Guys For Saving Us.
  • (Slide To Concert)
  • Hunky Monkeys:(Intro) Dude You're A Girl But That Don't Mean A Thing That You're A Dude Girl. Dude Dude Girl Girl. (Verse) I Call You Dude Cause I Don't Know To Many Bigger Words Girl.(Pre-Chourus)Big Waves That Hurt My Head.
  • Dudley: This Is My Thanks?! Front Row Seats To Another Concert?!
  • (Portal Opens)
  • Chief: It's Chief-topia! I Gotta Go There I'll Finally Be Tall.
  • Keswick:No,Chief You'll Destroy The World!
  • Chief:I Know,But I'll Finally Get To Ride The Big Kid Rides!
  • Kitty:Dudley,Start Howling!
  • Dudley:Like I Can Help It?! (Howls)
  • (Chief Misses Portal)
  • Chief:Dang It! I Was So Close!
  • Dudley:Make It Stop!!(Starts To Remember) Hey You Know These Guys Aren't Bad? Oh Right,It's The Hunky Donkeys I Hate. I Love You Robespirre!
  • Hunky Monkeys:(Outro Guitar Solo) Major Attitude Be Cause No Matter What You Look Like, I Got A Frank That You're A Dude.(Dude,Dude). Dude. GIIIIIIRRRRRRLLLL!
  • Dudley:Well You Do Have That Mustache.
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