Mission: Really Big Mission (transcript)

This article is a transcript of T.U.F.F. Puppy's first half-hour special, Mission: Really Big Mission. It aired in March 31, 2012 the US, but it aired first on Italy in October of 2011.

"Mission: Really Big Mission (transcript)"
Season 1, Episode 25
Production Code:	113
Airdate:	(US:March 31, 2012) (Italy:October 2011)
Villain(s) Featured:	Verminious Snaptrap D.O.O.M. Chameleon
Credits
Writer(s):	Will Schifrin Kevin Sullivan Ray DeLauentis
Director(s):	Michelle Brian/Ken Bruce
Storyboards by:	Fred Gonzales Dave Thomas
Art Direction:	George Goodchild
Music by:	Guy Moon
Chronology
Previous Super Duper Crime Busters	Next Frisky Business

Part 1

(episode begins in space, showing the Earth and the sun, and an asteroid going to hit Earth; meanwhile, T.U.F.F. Headquarters opens itself revealing a space shuttle ready for launch)

• '"The Chief'": Agents Puppy and Katswell, the giant asteroid heading for Earth will be in target range in 2 minutes. Blast off when ready!

• '"Dudley'": I was born ready. No, I'm wrong! Stop the launch, I have to go to the bathroom! (Dudley runs off ship, agency turns back to normal, toilet flushes, and Dudley runs back to ship) Whoops! Forgot to wash my hands! (rushes back to wash his hands; gets back in his spot)

• '"The Chief'": Focus, Agent Puppy! If you fail to destroy that asteroid, all life will cease to exist, which stinks for me, because I just bought a week's worth of groceries!

• '"Kitty'": Don't worry, Chief! With Keswick's turbo laser, we'll stop it in no time! Ready, Dudley?

• '"Dudley'": Totally ready. No wait, I have to get a space snack! (runs to vending machine) Space jerky! I love space jerky! (reads bag) It's out of this world! Wow, I just got that.

• '"The Chief'": Will you two get GOING?!

(space shuttle launches and Dudley flies to the back of the ship)

• '"Kitty'": Exiting Earth's orbit and scanning for target. Updating MyFace status to Exiting Earth's orbit and scanning for target.

• '"Dudley'": (biting jerky) Oh, baby. I'm never gonna floss so we can be together forever. (floats towards Kitty, butt gets on her face)

• Kitty: (pushes Dudley) Get your butt off my face!

• (Dudley swims through air)

• Kitty: Activating T.U.F.F. Turbo Thrust and wiping butt print off face. (activates Turbo Thrust)

• Dudley: Ahh, my jerky!

• (All of a sudden, Snaptrap appears in a run-down RV converted into a space ship)

• Kitty: Snaptrap? What's he doing in space?

• Snaptrap: So, here's what we're doing in space. We're going to blow up the Earth's Corn Belt and pop all the corn. We'll own all the world's popcorn and sell it for $1,000 a bag. Do the math. If we sell two bags we'll be millionares! Larry, activate the super fancy weapon system.

• Larry: We don't have a super fancy weapon system. I rented the RV with the microwave instead. (popcorn is ready) Who wants popcorn while it's still cheap?

• Snaptrap: Who wants to see Larry get fired out of our super fancy escape pod?

• Larry: We don't have a super-fancy-- (Larry flies out of RV and screams, but in space, you can't hear him)

• Snaptrap: Well, what do you know? In space no one can hear you scream.

• Kitty: Snaptrap, move it! We're about to fire the most fancy weapon system ever made, and you don't wanna be in the way.

• Snaptrap: Really? It is super fancy enough to blow up the Earth's Corn Belt?

• Kitty: Why would you want to know that?

• Snaptrap: Oh, no reason. Snaptrap out!

• (laser blows up asteroid)

• Snaptrap: Whoa, that is super fancy. I want a laser like that one. In fact, I want that one.

• Kitty: Mission accomplished, Dudley! We did it! Dudley? (sees Dudley out in space; is worried) What are you doing out there?

• Dudley: My jerky floated out the air lock. I screamed, but in space you couldn't hear me. (jerky floats away) Jerky, come back! I'm nothing without you, except hungry! (jerky floats into the laser; Dudley gets his head stuck)

• Snaptrap: Now, here's our plan to get the laser. Francisco will disguise himself as a laser repairman and knock on the shuttle door. I'll disguise myself as Francisco. And this part is obvious. Ollie will disguise himself as Abraham Lincoln.

• Dudley: (laser breaks apart and float away; Dudley screams like a girl)

• Ollie: What a break, boss! Let's race back to Earth and get those laser pieces before T.U.F.F!

• Snaptrap: Okay, but you're still dressing up as Abraham Lincoln.

• (Transition to T.U.F.F)

• The Chief: Agents Puppy and Katswell, this is a disaster! I can't believe you lost the pieces of the laser!

• Dudley: And my jerky! (holds picture of space jerky) Don't worry, I will find you!

• The Chief: Keswick, hand me the fist-in-the-box. (Keswick hands the Chief the fist-in-the-box)

• (plays jack-in-the-box song and hits Dudley)

• Dudley: Ahh! Jerky?

• Snaptrap: It is I, Fransisco! (sotto) It's really Snaptrap. (normal) I know your super-fancy laser is broken and I'm gonna find all three pieces before you do! I'll use it to heat up the Earth's corn belt!

• The Chief: You fiend! Wait, why would you do that?

• Snaptrap: I wanna get rich off movie snacks, and there's no such thing as the chocolate-covered raisin belt. Snaptrap - I mean, Francisco - out!

• Keswick: Oh no! If Snaptrap find that laser and reassembles it, he won't just heat the Corn Belt, he'll d-duh-d-duh-destroy the planet!

• Kitty: So we just have to find the pieces before he does!

• Dudley: This is me and the jerky in space right before we broke up! (cries)

• Keswick: I've located the first piece of the first piece of the laser at the bottom of the the Pet-cific Ocean. Agents, I've come up with a special invention to assist you on your mission.

• Dudley: That's awesome. You write down what it is. Wait, you tell us what it is and we'll write it down. Your handwriting stinks.

• Keswick: The invention is the pen. But not an ordinary pen. It's a secret spy tool equipped with a scuba tank, a spruh-spr-spring-loaded net, and a bunch of other cool stuff. (fist-in-a-pen punches The Chief) Including a fist in a pen. Sorry, Chief.

• The Chief: No worries, I'm fine. Now get going, agents! Oh, and take your floating snowmen with you.

• Dudley: Thanks, Keswick. To the T.U.F.F Sub!

• (T.U.F.F. sub comes up and Dudley and Kitty go inside)

• (Transition to D.O.O.M.)

• Snaptrap: Larry, Francisco, Honest Abe, since this is a wopper of a mission, we're gonna need some help. That's why I've invited a special guest villain to join us.

• Fransisco: Uh, where is he?

• Snaptrap: You're sitting on him, Fransisco. Now, let's give a big D.O.O.M. welcome to the Chameleon.

• The Chameleon: (turns back into himslef) Hello. It is the Chameleon, criminal genius and master of disguise. I also do celebrity impressions at the Chocalhot every other Friday night. (turns into Easter Bunny, then into Toucan Sam, then into Po from Kung Fu Panda, and then into Snaptrap) Free parking if you get there before 5:00.

• Snaptrap: Way to suck up, Chameleon. With us two super villains working together, nothing can stop us. (Snaptrap laughs maniacally) Oh, I almost forgot. Your complementary Men of D.O.O.M calendar. (hands Chameleon the calendar; shows Snaptrap in a swimsuit, holding an umbrella) I'm Mr. September.

• The Chameleon: (turns back to normal) This'll be wonderful! What do you want to turn into first, a robot, a rocket launcher, some kind of spooky jelly-like blob?

• Snaptrap: Just turn yourself into something that doesn't talk. I got a lot to cover here. Okay, the first piece of the laser is here at the bottom of the Pet-cific Ocean. To the D.O.O.M. sub!

• (All go back to the RV, now converted into a sub)

• The Chameleon: What can I do, Snaptrap?

• Snaptrap: You can turn into a cup holder for my jumbo apple juice.

• The Chameleon: I won't let you down! I promise! (turns into cup holder) Yay, I'm helping!

• (Transition to T.U.F.F Sub; Dudley is imitating the sonar)

• Dudley: Beep, beep, beep, beep!

• Kitty: Okay, beep faster. I found the laser piece.

• Dudley: (quickly) Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!

• Kitty: And I'm joining the MyFace group "Secret Agent Cats Underwater".

• (D.O.O.M. sub drives up)

• Kitty: Oh no, it's D.O.O.M.!

• Snaptrap: Oh no, it's T.U.F.F.! And I'm out of apple juice!

• (Dudley and Kitty come out of T.U.F.F. sub and Snaptrap and Fransisco come out of the D.O.O.M. sub)

• Dudley: I'll snare them with the spring-loaded net inside Keswick's pen. (fist-in-a-pen comes out and punches Kitty)

• Kitty: (sees fish and screams; gets eaten)

• Snaptrap: Weird, a fish eating a cat. Usually, it's the other way around. But now Agent Puppy, you're all alone. Prepare to perish!

Part 2

• Snaptrap: Prepare to parish, Agent Puppy! (shoots harpoon; cuts Dudley's oxygen tank)

• Dudley: Nice try, Snaptrap but this pen has a mini scuba tank. (fist-in-a-pen hits Dudley into a clam) I'll just use the radio to contact Kitty. (BOOM!) That was the grenade launcher. I'm gonna use this pen to write Keswick an angry letter. "Dear Keswick," - OW! Who puts tiny scorpions in a pen!?

• (Snaptrap and Ollie return to the sub)

• Snaptrap: Oh, goodie! We got the first piece of the laser!

• Chameleon: Good job, Snaptrap! What can I do to help now?

• Snaptrap: You can turn yourself into a box of tissues. I got water up my nose.

• Chameleon: Excellent! A new way to help!

• Snaptrap: Soon, those laser pieces will be ours, and we can get all the world's popcorn! (laughs maniacally, then blows his nose into the Chameleon)

• Chameleon: Eeew! Uh, I mean, yaay!

• Kitty: (opens clam) Dudley, are you okay? Dudley, Snaptrap's sub is getting away. Do you this means?

• Dudley: It means only millionaires will be able to eat movie popcorn!

• Kitty: No, it means...Okay, let's just go with that.

• (Transition to TUFF Mobile)

• The Chief: (through hologram) Agents, you need to get the next piece of the lsaer before Snaptrap!

• Keswick: I've located it underneath a volcano a thousand miles below the Earth's crust. I'm sending you the coordinates.

• Kitty: Mac & Cheese and a Fruit Cup?

• Keswick: Sorry. That's my lunch order. Oh no, that means the restaurant has the coordinates!

• (Cut to Meaty Moose restaurant; Dudley and Kitty are at the drive-thru window)

• Drive-Thru Person: Welcome to Meaty Moose, how may I help you?

• Kitty: We'll take the laser coordinates and two fruit cups. (drive out of drive-thru)

• Dudley: (drives back in drive-thru) You forgot my toy!

• Drive-Thru Person: Sorry (gives Dudley a toy)

• Dudley: I already have that one!

• Kitty: Just drive!

• Dudley: I hate the drive-thru!

• (Transition to volcano; T.U.F.F. Mobile drilling through ground)

• Kitty: Coordinates set.

• Dudley: Fruit cup eaten.

• Kitty: That was my fruit cup!

• Dudley: Sorry, I got hungry. You can still have my Meaty Moose action figure.

• Kitty: I already have that one. Everybody has that one! (drill breaks) Oh no, the drill broke!

• Dudley: Don't worry, Kitty. I'm a dog.

• Kitty: And?

• Dudley: That's all I've got so far. Wait, I can dig! And my keen canine senses tell me that the laser is that way! (digging through dirt)

• Kitty: (dirt falls which reveals where the laser is) The laser! I know, I'll use the radio in Keswick's pen! (fist-in-the-box punches Kitty; slightly disoriented) I'm okay!

• (D.O.O.M. Mobile runs over Kitty)

• Larry: Snaptrap, I think you hit something.

• Snaptrap: Yeah, pay dirt, and dirt dirt. But mostly pay dirt. Larry, you and the father of our country get the laser piece.

• Ollie: Actually, Abraham Lincoln wasn't the father of our country.

• Snaptrap: Well, thank you, Einstein. Hey, that gives me an idea. Larry, dress up as Einstein.

• (puts Einstein wig on Larry's head)

• The Chameleon: Yoo, hoo! Bathroom's fixed. What can I do now Snaptrap?

• Snaptrap: Can you turn into a tooth pick? I've got gunk in my teeth.

• The Chameleon: Ooh, it would be an honor! (turns into a toothpick) Holy guacomole! When was the last time you brushed?

• Snaptrap: Brushed what?

• (Larry and Ollie pick up laser)

• Snaptrap: Ooh, goody. One more piece and the most powerful weapon on Earth will finally be ours.

• Kitty: (beaten) Freeze, Snaptrap! (D.O.O.M. R.V. runs over Kitty) Oh no, Snaptrap got the second piece! Where is Dudley?

• Dudley: (digging) Wow! You really can dig all the way to China. (ducks out of the way of rickshaw) I'm okay! (gets trampled by Chinese New Year fanatics)

• (Transition to T.U.F.F; in the Chief's office)

• The Chief: I can't believe you two lost the second piece of the laser! Now, Snaptrap's closer than ever with his stupid popcorn plan!

• Keswick: What's worse is, with that hole you dug in the Earth, it now makes a w-wah-w-whistling sound when it rotates. (opens window to hear the whistling sound) Who can sleep with that?!

• The Chief: ( types "S C R E W B A L L" into Dudley's file) Agent Puppy, I'm putting this down in your personal record, and I'm giving you the punishment-in-a-box! (another fist-in-a-box; backfires on Chief and crashes him into wall, unhinging anvil shelf)

• Keswick: That's the risk you take when you have an anvil collection.

• Kitty: Look, the laser won't work without all 3 pieces. We just have to find the last piece before Snaptrap does!

• Dudley: So, where's the last piece, Keswick? What super-dangerous location are we headed to next?

• Kitty: The world's tallest mountain?

• Dudley: The middle of Death Valley?

• Kitty: A forbidden jungle temple?

• Dudley: A spooooky graveyard?

• Keswick: I've located the last piece of the laser in a s-suh-suburban home just on the other side of town.

• (Dudley and Kitty both scream in terror)

• Dudley: Wait. That's not that bad.

• Kitty: To the T.U.F.F Mobile!

• (Dudley and Kitty go down tubes, but not to the T.U.F.F Mobile; instead, they're taken to Santa's Workshop)

• Dudley: Whoops, wrong tube.

• Santa: Ho ho ho! Kitty and Dudley!

• Dudley and Kitty: (excited) Hi, Santa!

• Santa: Remember, I see you when you're sleeping, I know when you're awake, and I know when one of you drills a hole in the Earth.

• Dudley: (panickingly) It was Kitty! (Kitty glares at him irritated; Dudley whispers) Sorry, but I really want a bike for Christmas!

• (Transition to suburban home)

• Kitty: There it is, Dudley! We beat Snaptrap to the punch!

• Dudley: Ohh, there's punch? That goes great with jerky! (pauses; crying) I miss my jerky! (hugs Kitty; she is unamused)

• Kitty: (rings doorbell; a little boy answers the door) Hey, little boy, we're secret agents.

• Boy: Cool! I love playing "Secret Agent"! I like playing the bad guy!

• Dudley: That's cute, kid, but we're on official government--

• Boy: (demonic voice) FEAR ME!!

• Kitty: (very afraid) I totally fear this kid, Dudley! (hears car starting) Dudley? (Dudley drives off; Kitty talks to her wristcom) This is Agent Katswell! I need backup!

• (A whole T.U.F.F arsenal arrives at the house)

• The Chief: (aims blaster) Freeze!

• (The kid is afraid by the arsenal and sobs; the mother shows up)

• Mother: (gasps in shock) What is wrong with you people?! He's 6 years old!

• The Chief: (embarrassed) Sorry, ma'am. Bring in the apology-in-a-box! (is actually fist-in-a-box; Chief gets hit by it) Oh, come on!

• Kitty: (cowering behind tree; spots laser piece) Ah! Got it!

• Francisco: (looking through binoculars) Eh boss, Agent Katswell beat us to the laser piece.

• Snaptrap: No way, Jose! Ohh, that gives me an idea. Francisco, dress up as my cousin, Jose. He's a fireman.

• Ollie: Boss, loathe as I am to bring up common sense at a time like this, I'm not sure this disguise bit is getting us anywhere.

• Snaptrap: And I'm not sure that Abraham Lincoln had a British accent. Speaking of disguises, I have a super fancy job for the Chameleon.

• Chameleon: (gets out of his yo-yo disguise) Oh, wonderful! Just give me a minute. I'm a little dizzy.

• (Transition to Kitty holding the laser piece)

• Dudley: Nice job, Kitty! You got the last laser piece! This'll get you off Santa's naughty list.

• Fake Keswick: Good work, Agent Katswell. Now, put in on this forklift so I can take it back to T.U.F.F.

• (Kitty puts the laser on the forklift; the fake Keswick leaves and the real Keswick enters)

• Kitty: Keswick, did you forget something?

• Keswick: Well, now that you mention it, I might've left a b-buh-bunson burner on in the lab. (shows T.U.F.F HQ on fire) Anyway, I'm here to pick up the laser.

• Kitty: I just gave it to you. Unless... oh, no! Dudley, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

• Dudley: Are you thinking about jerky?

• Kitty: (frustrated) No! I'm thinking that I just gave the last laser piece to an impostor! But who?

• Dudley: Oh, you are so back on Santa's naughty list.

• Chameleon: (back at the RV, still in Keswick disguise) I did it, Snaptrap! I got the last piece of the laser! (turns back to normal) Being able to help D.O.O.M is like a life-long dream to me! I feel a song coming on. (sings) "I feel happy-happy, Snappy-trappy" --

• Snaptrap: (interrupts) Yeah, we have a strict no-singing policy here at D.O.O.M. Now, we can get this laser working! (laughs maniacally while the laser is set) Ooh, now I'm feeling a song. (sings) "I feel happy-happy"--

• Chameleon: Ahem. Policy.

• Snaptrap: Darn it!

• (Transition to T.U.F.F; Kitty is bummed out about losing the laser)

• Dudley: (reassuring Kitty) Come on, Kitty. We don't know for sure that Snaptrap has the final piece of the laser.

• Snaptrap: (on monitor) I have the final piece of the laser! And now, I shall use it to blow up the corn belt, and steal all the world's popcorn!

• All: (screaming in terror)

• Snaptrap: And I'm gonna celebrate by eating this space jerky I found in the laser.

• Dudley: NOOOO! Guys, we have to get my jerky back! (Kitty, Chief, and Keswick look at him unamused) I mean, save the planet!

• (Transition to T.U.F.F Shuttle)

• Dudley: (imitating launch sequence) WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP-WHOOP!

• Kitty: You said I could do the sound effect this time!

• Dudley: Too late.

• (Shuttle takes off)

• The Chief: (through monitor) Oh, no! Snaptrap's too far away, and you'll never get to him in time! We're all doomed! Well, you're not doomed 'cause you're in space. Keswick, why didn't we go with them?!

• Keswick: Sorry, Chief. I couldn't hear you over the whistling from the hole in the Earth!

• Dudley: Wait a minute... That's it! The hole in the Earth (loudly) THAT I DID NOT MAKE, SANTA! (whispering) Sorry, but in case we survive this, I still want a bike.

• Kitty: Wait, what about the hole in the Earth?

• Dudley: We can't stop the laser from firing, but maybe we can redirect it towards the hole in the Earth so it'll go through, and we'll be fine!

• Kitty: (impressed) Wow Dudley, that might be the smartest idea you've ever had!

• Dudley: What about my idea for the edible couch? You know, so you don't have to get up to get a snack?

• Kitty: (rolling eyes) Moving on. All we have to do is aim the laser blast towards the center of the Earth!

• Keswick: I'm sending you the coordinates now. Oh, d-duh-darn it! I sent them to the Meaty Moose again!

• (Cut to Meaty Moose)

• Kitty: We'll take Keswick's coordinates to go, please.

• Dudley: And some apple crisps, and don't forget my toy!

• Drive-Thru Person: Here ya go.

• Dudley: (finds same toy) Ah, it's the same toy again! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

• (Shuttle takes off again)

• Snaptrap: In about a few minutes, we will have popcorn supremacy!

• Chameleon: Popcorn what-now?

• Snaptrap: Oh, right. You weren't here when I explained the plan. We're using this laser to heat up the Earth's corn belt.

• Chameleon: Yes, and?

• Snaptrap: We'll have all the world's popcorn and sell it for outrageous prices!

• Chameleon: This is your plan?! You do realize that you'll destroy the Earth in the process, right?

• Snaptrap: Okay, where are you going with this, Chameleon?

• Chameleon: I am not going! I am already there! Oh, this is a crazy plan! You haven't thought this through at all!

• (Ollie, Francisco, and Larry sigh in disappointment)

• Ollie: Welcome to D.O.O.M.

• Chameleon: I can't believe I let my agent talk me into this gig!

• Snaptrap: Well, if you don't like it, there's always the super fancy escape pod.

• Chameleon: (in space; muffled screams)

• Snaptrap: Huh, that's weird. I could've sworn I heard him scream a little. (Snaptrap readies the laser and laughs maniacally while placing down popcorn containers)

• Dudley: Oh, no! He's readying the laser!

• Kitty: Dudley, if this doesn't work, I just wanna say it's been an honor working with you.

• Dudley: And I just want you to know that I really want your apple crisps.

• (Snaptrap fires the laser, but Dudley successfully reflects it towards the hole in the Earth, stopping Snaptrap from blowing up the corn belt)

• Kitty: Dudley, you did it! The Earth is saved!

• Dudley: Awesome! By the way, I panicked and ate your apple crisps. Now, let's get Snaptrap!

• Snaptrap: (holding giant salt shaker) What's going on? Shouldn't there be loads of popcorn right now? (sees T.U.F.F Shuttle) Oh no, it's the good guys! Hang on, I'll try to shake 'em! (drives into asteroid belt; Chameleon is splatted onto windshield) AAH! An alien! Please don't eat my face!

• (Dudley captures D.O.O.M and the Chameleon with the shuttle claw)

• Kitty: Nice catch, Dudley!

• Dudley: Thans. Now to put this space garbage into the jail-in-a-box. (plays jail-in-a-box and traps villains inside)

• (Chameleon is rattling a mug across the cell bars)

• Snaptrap: (in swimsuit, holding an umbrella) Don't worry, Chameleon. You'll be spending 25 to life with Mr. September. You're welcome.

• Chameleon: (shuddering)

• (Transition to T.U.F.F)

• The Chief: Good job, agents! You saved the Earth from total destruction! Now, please accept these medals-in-a-box! (really a fist-in-a-box; punches Chief into ambulance)

• Keswick: Well, at least it p-puh-punched him into the ambulance this time.

• Santa: (flying in on sleigh) Ho ho ho! Kitty and Dudley! You saved the Earth! Kitty, that hole you dug helped out a lot, so here's your bike!

• Kitty: (cheery) Thanks, Santa!

• Dudley: What?! No wait, I dug the hole! (gets tiny present) Ooh, a present for me! Please be space jerky. (has same Meaty Moose toy) I already have this one, Santa! EVERYBODY HAS THIS ONE!!

• (Ending gag with Dudley and Kitty)

(THE END)

Thomas Horton (talk) 23:51, July 29, 2013 (UTC)Re-edited by Thomas Horton