|"Iron Mutt (transcript)"|
|Season 1, Episode 17|
|Airdate:||February 26, 2011|
|Art Direction:||George Goodchild|
|Music by:||Guy Moon|
Thunder Dog (transcript)
The Wrong Stuff (transcript)
- (episode starts with Keswick, then zooms out to show the T.U.F.F. Bunker as a sort of tourist attraction)
- Keswick: "Welcome to the top secret T.U.F.F. test b-bu..bu..bunker conveniently located below the giant neon T.U.F.F. top secret b-bu..bu..bunker sign." (via megaphone) "All you folks in line for the top secret buffet step to your left."
- Kitty: (walking with Dudley) "Oooh! The top secret gift shop is open until seven and I get 10% off with my employee discount!"
- Keswick: (addressing crowd from a lectern, with a megaphone) "I proudly present my latest addition to T.U.F.F.'s never-ending war on crime." (capsule rises, opens to reveal a powered exoskeleton reminiscent of Iron Man's) "I call it, the suit. Ta-da! It has supersonic flight shoes, a laser-targeting bowtie, and a..b-ba..boutonnière that dispenses three different flavors of frozen yogurt!" (suit shoots yogurt onto cone in Keswick's hand; people cheer) "I'd like a v-va-va-va.. volunteer to test the suit, but since it's incredibly dangerous you'd have to be completely bonkers to get in it."
- Dudley: (inside) "I'm in it!"
- Keswick: "Well all righty then. Just make sure you do exactly as I-"
- Dudley: (engine thrusts) "Hi-gee-gee!" (Dudley takes off) "Hahahaha!"
- (Dudley in the suit careens into testing ground; suit's lasers destroying cardboard cutouts of D.O.O.M. villains and is shown to be impervious to missile strikes; Dudley lands)
- Keswick: "Good work Agent Puppy. Now please exit the suit."
- Dudley: "Are you kidding? This suit is awesome I'm never taking it off!" (takes off) "Hi-gee-geeee!"
- The Chief: "Go get him Agent Katswell! And bring me back some frozen yogurt. Make it non-fat!" (Kitty takes off in T.U.F.F. Mobile jet)
- (scene cuts to Petropolis' mayor in his limo, pursued by D.O.O.M.)
- Ollie: (rolling in ball along with the rest of D.O.O.M.) "Using this giant hamster ball to crush the mayor's limo and then impersonate him is brilliant boss!"
- Snaptrap: (disguised as mayor) "Oh yeah.. That was my plan. Look, what do you think I just woke up this morning wanting to wear a fake mustache and roll down the street?"
- Larry: "That's what you told me you wanted to do.."
- Snaptrap: "When I'm there, I'm totally banishing you Larry."
- (Dudley jets by in his suit, pursued by Kitty)
- Kitty: (via radio) "Kitty to Dudley, activate the landing sequence."
- Dudley: (via wristcom) "Dudley to Kitty, no.. Let's see what this button does!" (accidentally squirts chocolate yogurt onto Snaptrap's giant hamster ball)
- (unable to see, D.O.O.M. screams; ball rolls to a stop at railroad crossing)
- Snaptrap: "Do you hear bells? I hear bells."
- (ball struck by a train and is flung in the air at a power substation; ball is caught by wires and D.O.O.M. is electrocuted; ball cracks in half and drops Snaptrap and his villains on the ground)
- Snaptrap: (burnt) "This is terrible. There's no toppings with this yogurt."
- (Dudley lands in the presence of a crowd; a KPET news van arrives at the scene immediately)
- Wolf Spitzer: (journalist voice) "Wolf Spitzer for Petropolis News, with live coverage of the super dog who foiled Snaptrap from whatever it was he was doing. Let's hear it for Iron Mutt."
- Dudley: (to the adoring crowd) "Well, I-I'm not Iron Mutt.. I'm just and ordinary, average-" (ladies rush to his side)
- Ladies: "We love you Iron Mutt!"
- Dudley: "...super awesome hero named IROON MUUUUUUUUUTT!"
- Crowd: (cheering) "Iron Mutt! Iron Mutt!"
- Lady: "What's this button do?" (presses button, firing yogurt onto Kitty in the T.U.F.F. jet; jet falls)
- Kitty: "AAAAAHHHHHHH!" (lands in city dump; looks at crowd raise Dudley into the air)
- (cut is made to Kitty holding a newspaper article with an image of crowd raising Dudley into the air)
- Keswick: (spraying hose at Kitty) "Kitty, I've got a very important question for you."
- Kitty: "You wanna know how Dudley's getting all the credit for stopping Snaptrap when he clearly has no idea what he's doing?!"
- Keswick: (holding notepad and pencil) "Actually I was going to ask if you could get the Iron Mutt's autograph. It's for my mother, her name's Keswick."
- Dudley: (accidentally blasts through wall) "I meant to do that!"
- Keswick: "IT'S IRON MUTT!" (girlish screams; faints)
- Dudley: (to Kitty) "You wanna be my sidekick you're gonna need a much cooler costume than that!"
- Kitty: "I'm not your sidekick!"
- The Chief: (via screen) "Attention agents! Snaptrap's trying to destroy Petropolis High School! Iron Mutt, you and your sidekick get over there and stop him."
- Dudley: "On it, Chief!" (crashes into floor) "Totally meant to do that!"
- (cut to D.O.O.M. in the Petropolis High School parking lot; bell rings)
- (Snaptrap and his gang push a giant mousetrap into the parking lot)
- Ollie: "Boss, snaring the principal in a giant mousetrap to take her place is pure genius!"
- Snaptrap: "Aw... right! That was my plan! You didn't think I wanted to stand outside a school in a woman's dress did you?
- Larry: "That's what you told me you wanted-" (Snaptrap blasts Larry)
- Ollie: "Here comes the principal.." (principal walks towards car)
- Snaptrap: "Hide!" (everyone hides behind sign)
- Ollie: "Look! Up in the sky!" (silhouette of Iron Mutt glides through sky) "It's a dog!"
- Larry: "It's a kite! Aaah! Looked into the sun!"
- Snaptrap: "It's Iron Mutt!"
- Dudley: (pressing button) "Activate landing sequence!" (accidentally activates jet thrusters, crashing into Snaptrap and the others)
- (Snaptrap, Ollie, Francisco and Larry are sent flying onto the giant mousetrap, which ensnares them; Dudley shoots free yogurt cones for high school students, who are cheering)
- Girl: "Yay! Iron Mutt saved us from the weird rat in the dress!"
- (Kitty arrives in T.U.F.F. Mobile)
- Dudley: "Glad you could make it sidekick! Say something funny! Sidekicks should be funny!"
- Kitty: (annoyed sigh) "I'm out of here." (drives off)
- Dudley: "I don't get it. Maybe I should write down some stuff for ya."
- Snaptrap: (to his minions) "I've got to stop Iron Mutt! As long as he's around, I can't wear mustaches and dresses." (they stare at him) "I mean, commit manly crimes. Now how do I get this wig off? I use like.. gazillion bobby pins."
- (cut to TV screen, where a news report is being broadcasted)
- Wolf Spitzer: (reporter voice) "This is a KPET Special Report. Iron Mutt-mania is sweeping Petropolis. Kids, are eating Iron Mutt cereal." (kids cheer) "Iron Mutt action figures, and Iron Mutt costumes in children's sizes!" (Keswick cheers) "And flea sizes!" (The Chief cheers) "Children's television.." (Iron Mutt and his Unfunny Sidekick titlecard)
- Iron Mutt: "Can you find the letter A?" (letter A appears from behind a tree, dancing and laughing; gets blasted by Iron Mutt)
- Iron Mutt and Unfunny Sidekick: "We did it! We did it!"
- Wolf Spitzer: "Iron Mutt has licensed his likeness to every product imaginable!"
- (transition to Kitty, in T.U.F.F. headquarters)
- Kitty: "This whole Iron Mutt thing is getting way out of hand! And I'm tired of all this sidekick stuff, we're supposed to be partners!"
- Dudley: (flexing his muscles in front of a mirror; surrounded by Iron Mutt merchandise) "I understand. You feel left out of the action. I know, you can answer my fan mail!" (letters fly out of Dudley's chest, onto Kitty; Dudley grabs a few and reads) "Okay! 'Iron Mutt rocks'.. 'I love Iron Mutt'.. jury duty.. oooh! An invitation!"
- (reads from message made of magazine letter cut-outs)
- Letter: "You are cordially invited to the League of Super Heroes potluck dinner. Please bring your SUPERSUIT and a side dish. And don't tell anyone you're going!"
- Dudley: "Well that sounds totally legitimate!"
- Kitty: (doubtful) "There's no such thing as a League of Super Heroes!"
- Dudley: "Again, not funny! Have you read any of the stuff I wrote down for you?" (hands Kitty a stack of papers) "Iron Mutt away!" (takes off through wall) "Once again that was totally planned!"
- (cut to Dudley arriving at the "Leeg of Sooperheroes" in his suit)
- Dudley: "I hope these superheroes like my macaroni surprise!" (walks into building; red cloth falls off sign to reveal "D.O.O.M.")
- (Dudley puts his food on table; Francisco, Larry, Ollie and Snaptrap come dangling from the ceiling by ropes, disguised as superheroes)
- Snaptrap: "Iron Mutt! Welcome to the superhero hangout. As you can see, we're clearly superheroes because we're all flying!" (Larry falls down) "Imposter!" (blasts Larry) "Allow me to introduce the gang. I'm Supermarket! I fight high prices with everyday discounts! Have some coupons!" (pulls drawer on costume and drops coupons onto Dudley) "And this is.. the English Muffin!"
- Ollie: "If you're in a jam, call the English Muffin! Get it, jam?" (takes out jar of jam) "Anyone?"
- Snaptrap: (points to Francisco) "Here's Captain North America! He'll be there to help. But only in Canada, the Virgin Islands and the Continental US."
- Dudley: (fooled) "Wow! It's great to be in the presence of so many awesome superheroes that I've never heard of!"
- Snaptrap: "Now we'll perform our annual ritual of switching supersuits!"
- Dudley: "Uh, switching suits?"
- Snaptrap: "Of course! What do you think, I made that up? Anywho, if you don't switch you can't have any of my delicious corn-on-the-cob.." (holds corn)
- Dudley: (mouth watering) "I'mmmmm innnn!"
- (Dudley takes corn; flies off to dressing room and exchanges suits with Snaptrap, who is laughing maniacally)
- Dudley: (steps out with Snaptrap's costume on) "Does this make my butt look big?" (image of Dudley's big butt shown)
- Snaptrap: "No! But it makes your brain look small! For I, Verminious Snaptrap, have the awesome power of Iron Mutt's supersuit!" (blasts lasers at Dudley, who starts fleeing)
- Dudley: "Aaaghh! I can't believe I fell for the old superhero-switch-suits-for-corn-on-the-cob-trick! I need help."
- (T.U.F.F. headquarters)
- Kitty: (to wristcom; feeling down) "Unfunny sidekick speaking."
- Dudley: "Kitty! Snaptrap took my suit.. and all I have are corn and coupons.." (blast) All I have is coupons! I was wrong! I do need you as a partner! Hellllp!"
- The Chief: "Kitty, you've got to save him!"
- Kitty: "I know Chief, 'cause even though this Iron Mutt stuff's gone to his head, he's still a good agent."
- The Chief: "I was gonna say he still hasn't signed my Iron Mutt lunchbox, but we'll go with your theory."
- (Kitty hops into the T.U.F.F. Mobile jet and jets off)
- (cut to "Leeg of Sooperheroes" building; D.O.O.M. has cornered Dudley)
- Snaptrap: "You're outnumbered." (looks at suit) And I look fantastic! Just imagine when I accessorize this with a mustache and a dress. Any last wooords?"
- Dudley: "I just wanna say... that being an agent is about trusting your partner, and not being a star. If Kitty were here, I'd tell her that she means more to me than any yogurt-making flying suit!"
- Snaptrap: "That was really beautiful and seriously.. moving, and heartfelt and.. prepare to perish in pain!" (prepares to blast Dudley)
- Kitty: (blasted through wall; in T.U.F.F. Mobile jet) "Not on my watch!"
- Snaptrap, Larry, Francisco and Ollie: (gasp) "It's the Unfunny Sidekick.."
- Dudley: "She's not my unfunny sidekick! She's Kitty Katswell, my unfunny partner!"
- Snaptrap: "You mean, ex-partner!" (launches rockets; Kitty retreats in T.U.F.F. Mobile, Snaptrap pursues her while firing lasers)
- Kitty: (via comm) "Dudley, we gotta find a way to stop the suit. Does it have a weakness?"
- Dudley: (via wristcom) "I dunno! It's the perfect fighting machine.. The lasers, the boot jets, the yogurt shooter.."
- Kitty: "The yogurt shooter! That's it. Grab as much corn as you can!"
- Dudley: (pursued by Larry, Francisco and Ollie) "I have the corn! It's not that good. (jumps up to hole blasted in the wall) Hi-gee-geee!"
- (Dudley pokes tongue to provoke Francisco to throw his shield at him; then deflects shield with the drawer on his costume, which causes the shield to bounce around and strike the corn on the table and flinging the corn towards him; he gathers the corn)
- Kitty: (acting) "Please Snaptrap, whatever you do, don't shoot yogurt on the T.U.F.F. jet! It'll ruin the paint job!"
- Snaptrap: "Really, that's what you're worried about? Cats are weird. Anyway, since I'm eeevil, yogurt boutonnator, activate!" (prepares to fire)
- Kitty: (still flying) "3... 2.... 1.... now!"
- (Dudley throws corn cobs into yogurt cannons, clogging them and causing the suit to explode into pieces)
- Snaptrap: "Aaaaahhhhhhh!" (lands on the ground, covered in yogurt) "Aaah! Still no toppings!"
- (cut to "maximum security" room in T.U.F.F. headquarters; D.O.O.M. is jailed in cages above)
- Dudley: "I'm sorry for being such a super-suited stooge Kitty. Can you forgive me?"
- Kitty: "Absolutely. Let's just put this superhero stuff behind us, okay?"
- Dudley: "You bet. Next time, you can wear the suit and I'll be unfunny!"
- Kitty: "And from now on.. no more Iron Mutt."
- The Chief: (pops in through door in Iron Mutt costume) "Aha! I'm Iron Mutt."
- Keswick: (pops in through door in same costume, crushing The Chief) "No, I'm Iron m-m-m-m-Mutt. Chief? Chief? You say you'd play with me. (checks shoe sole) "I'm so fired."
- (ending gag with Kitty and Dudley)
- THE END
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