"Dog's Best Friend (transcript)"
Season 2, Episode 42
Dogs Best Friend Title Card
Production Code: 122B
Airdate: January 16, 2012
Villain(s) Featured: Verminious Snaptrap
Writer(s): Kevin Sullivan,
Will Schifrin,
Ray DeLaurentis
Art Direction: George Goodchild
Music by: Guy Moon
Big Dog on Campus (transcript)
Dudley Do-Wrong (transcript)

This article is a transcript of the T.U.F.F. Puppy episode, "Dog's Best Friend" from Season 2. It aired on January 16, 2012.


  • Dudley: This is Dudley Puppy with today's TUFF traffic safety tips. Boy, that's a tongue-twister. You know what else is a tongue twister? I saw a shitznu have a seizure on a seesaw. (car hits Dudley) Ahh! Step # 1: Never try tricky tongue twisters in treacherous traffic. (gets hit by truck) Aww, I did it again! Ahh!
  • (Transition to D.O.O.M)
  • Snaptrap: Boy, robbing that old lady was a big mistake.
  • Fransisco: Well, boss at least we got her purse.
  • Snaptrap: That's my purse, and it's more of a European shoulder bag. Point is, we didn't get the old bag's old bag.
  • Ollie: And we'd all be goners if her arthritis hadn't flared up.
  • Larry: Face it, we get beaten up by everyone. Orphans, the elderly, that sickly mime at the park.
  • Fransisco: Yeah, he gave us a good thumping when we tried to steal his imaginary ladder.
  • Snaptrap: We learned a valuable lesson that day about trying to steal things we can't actually see. Anyway, our days of getting beaten up are over. Because I bought a super powerful killer robot.
  • KIL-R: (comes out) Hello, my name is KIL-R. Would you like a cupcake?
  • Snaptrap: Eat one, Larry, it'll probably explode.
  • Larry: (eats cupcake) Yeah, it exploded all right. With scrumchious chocolate filling. Yum, yum.
  • Snaptrap: What kind of lame robot is this? Oh, I see. You have to put him into Killer mode. (presses button)
  • KIL-R: (turns into Killer Mode) Weapon Systems activated. Preparing to anialate enemy.
  • Snaptrap: (running) Yay! We'll use this scary talking bakery to beat up every old lady, orphan, and sickly mime in town.
  • Ollie: If it's really that lethal why don't we use it on our real enemies?
  • Snaptrap: You mean sic it on my mom?
  • Ollie: I was referring to T.U.F.F.
  • Snaptrap: So you wanna sic T.U.F.F. on my mom? You think they'd do it?
  • Larry: He's saying use the robot to destroy T.U.F.F.
  • Snaptrap: Ooh, I like that idea. (trips on imaginary ladder) Oof! Okay, which one of you bozos forgot to move the imaginary ladder?
  • (Ollie, Fransisco and Larry point at each other)
  • Chief: I have an important announcement to make. Agent Puppy is out making a Traffic Safety video. (crickets chirp) O.K., so it wasn't that important. Truth is I got lonely in my office and I wanted to talk to someone. So, what you guys doing'?
  • Snaptrap: (laughing) (appears on screen) It is I, Verminious Snaptrap, here to warn you of your impending doom. I have a super cool weapon and I'm gonna use it to infiltrate T.U.F.F. and destroy you. You'll never see it coming. (crashes into imaginary ladder) Ow! Just like that stupid ladder. Snaptrap out!
  • Chief: Based on that vague, unsubstantiated threat I say we go on red alert.
  • Kitty: Chief, can we wait for Dudley? You know how he likes to push the red alert button. I'm sure he's almost done with his traffic safety video.
  • Snaptrap: Time to arm my robot. I didn't bother to read the manual, so I'm just gonna press every button on the remote.
  • KIL-R: Plasma cannons, lasers, bees, hot sauce.
  • Snaptrap: Come on, why would a robot even have that?
  • KIL-R: Weapons System overload. (starts shooting lasers, fire, and missles)
  • Snaptrap: I've gotta find the stop button on this mechanical moron.
  • KIL-R: Releasing hot sauce and bees.
  • Snaptrap: Ahh! This hot sauce clearly contains an aggressive use of peppers!
  • KIL-R: (turns back to normal)
  • Snaptrap: You stupid robot, you're useless.
  • (KIL-R flies away)
  • Snaptrap: Wait come back. I wasn't done insulting you yet! Find the remote so I can finish my verbal assault. Plus, now I'm kind of craving a cupcake.
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