Chilly Dog (transcript)

• The episode starts with scene showing T.U.F.F. The Chief is in his office. He makes an announcement over the intercom.*

The Chief: "Agents Puppy and Katswell, report to my office immediately!"

Kitty and Dudley kick open the door to his office

Kitty: What is it, Chief? Is a super villain threatening to destroy the city?

Dudley: Did someone steal Keswick's fish sticks from the fridge, 'cause it wasn't me! *He burps out an empty bag that says "Keswick" along with a note that says "Don't touch"*

The Chief: Who cares! Just check out this footage! *A video screen slides out from the wall that shows two figure skaters doing a trick* It's from the qualifying round from the Petropolis skating championships. *A saw cuts a hole in the ice from underneath the skaters. They fall through, screaming*

Dudley: Oh no! Someone's stealing circles of ice!!! WHY?!?!

The Chief: Yeah, uhh, I'm gonna talk to Agent Katswell now. *to Kitty* Someone's stealing the world's great figure skaters! I need you two to go undercover as skaters and find out who's responsible.

Dudley: On it, Chief! Kitty and I will figure out who's stealing those ice circles.

Kitty: Uh, I'll explain to him in the car.

*The wall slides out showing a mini ice rink. Keswick is in a coat.*

Keswick: I have your costumes and these c-c-c-computerized skates. Just turn the knob to the desired s-s-setting and they'll turn you both into professional skaters. *The skates start racing around the ice and come to stop in front of Dudley and Kitty*

Dudley: But I like working at T.U.F.F! *A robotic hanger hands Dudley a girl, skating costume*

Kitty: I'll explain that in the car, too. *A robotic hanger hands her a fancy, boy's costume*

Dudley: Wait a minute! Why do I have the girl's costume?

Keswick: That's the only we had that would fit you! Good luck agents Puppy and K-K-Katswell. *They walk away awkwardly*

The Chief: *To Keswick* Was that really the only costume that would fit him?

Keswick: No, we have a ton of costumes *A rack comes down showing more costumes* I was just getting back at him for stealing my fish sticks. *chuckles* Got him back.

(Cut to the Petropolis Skating Rink*)

Dorothy Camel: Dorothy Camel reporting live from the figure skating qualifying rounds where I haven't had any water in 9 days. Despite the disappearance of SEVERAL skating teams, competitors continue to warm up hoping to make it to the finals. All I can say is "good luck" and "you're all doomed".

(Kitty As "Vince" Coming Out Of The Men's Changing Room And Dudley As "Tiffany Rose Amber Heather" Comes Out Of The Opposite Room)

Dudley: How Do I Look Kitty? I Used Your Razor To Shave My Legs And My Back And That Guy (Points Razor To Ape Shivering) I May Have Gotten A Little Carried Away, Here.

Kitty: You Can Keep It. Come On Let's Go Check Out The Other Skaters. (Dudley Jumps Gracefully) I'm Starting To Think One Of These Teams Wants To Win So Badly, They're Taking Out The Competition.

Dudley: Good Theory, Let's Check If Anybody Looks Suspicious Just Don't Be To Obvious. (Eyes Point Out To Hot Dogs) You, Hold it Right There!

Kitty: Dudley, That's A Hot Dog Vendor!

Dudley:I Know I Really Want A Hot Dog. (Vendor Gives Dudley A Hot Dog) Freeze Mister! Want Mustard Too. (Eats Hot Dog) Time For Some Super Secret Agent Detective Work. (Talks To Female Bear) Excuse Me How's Your Evil Plan To Eliminate All The Other Figure Skaters Going?

Female Bear: What?

Dudley: It's Not Them, Kitty. They Didn't Know Anything About The Plan. (Goes Toward Two Squirrels) Hey Can I Borrow Your Saw?

Male Squirrel:I Don't Have One.

Dudley: Not Guilty, Moving On. (Puts Light Above Old Turtle Lady) Where Were You On The Night Of June 33rd?!

Old Turtle Lady: You're Scaring Me!

Kitty: Dudley! Let Me Handle This.

Dudley: Okay, But I Don't Think You're Gonna Get Her To Crack. I'm Watching You!!

(Scene At Snowflake's Skating Shoes)

Kitty (As Vince): Hi We're New On Circuit!

(Snowflake Stops Spinning)

Snowflake: Howdy Ya'll. I'm Snowflake And This Is My Brother, Slush. (Slush Waves With Both Hands Then Falls)

Kitty: I'm Vince Uh Boy Skater And This Is My Partner.(Pulls Dudley Towards Herself)

Dudley: It's "Tiffany Rose Amber Heather" I Panicked And I Couldn't Pick A Name.

Slush: I Got tattoo (pulls Up Suit) What Says"Tiffany Rose Amber Heather"

Snowflake: Sweetie (Giggles) That's A Rash. (Pulls Down Suit) He's A Couple Of Pancakes 'Side A Short Stack. Come On, Sweetie We Gotta Practice Our Routine! (Slush Falls Down Again)

Kitty: Okay, It Can Be Them. She's Too Nice And He's Too Stupid.

Dudley: I'm Telling You It's The Old Lady. You're Going Down,Grandma!! (Old Lady Faints)

(Slide To Next Routine)

Dorothy Camel: Now, For The Next Team In The Qualifying Rounds, Say Hello And Possibly Goodbye To Our Current Front-Runners, Pete And Polly Penguin. (Penguins Do Tricks And Then They Fall Into Ice Hole)

Dudley: Kitty, The Villains Struck Again And Now They're Stealing Dinosaurs.

Kitty: Come On. (Jumps Into Hole) They Got Away. Dudley, I'm Seeing A Pattern Here.

Dudley: That's Not A Pattern, I Spilled Mustard On My Leotard!

Kitty: Listen To Me. Every Skating Team Was Nabbed With The Favorite To Win Including The Penguins.

Dudley: Okay, I Have A Plan.

Kitty: Does It Involve The Old Lady?

Dudley: Yes!

Kitty: Do Have Another Plan?

Dudley: Well, We Can Use Keswick's Skates To Become The Favorites So The Bad Guys Would Come After Us.

Kitty: That's Actually A Good Plan. Come On, Let's Get Back To The Rink. It's Time For Our Qualifying Routine.

Dudley: Can I Get Another Hot Dog?

Kitty: No!

Dudley: Okay. I'll Just Suck On My Leotard. (Sucks On Leotard)

Dorothy Camel: With The Disappearance Of Another Team, Much Of The Terrified Audience Has Fled The Arena. On The Bright Side, There's Almost No Line At The Snow Cone Stand. Now For The Next Team In The Qualifying Rounds, Two Newcomers To The Skating Scene, Vince And Tiffany Rose Amber Heather.

(Dudley And Kitty Do Tricks Which Lure Fans Back)

Dorothy Camel: Tiffany Rose Amber Heather, That Was Amazing! (Kitty Throws Up) And You Threw Up. If You're Half That Good In The Finals,You'll Take First Place.

Dudley: Oh Thanks, Dorothy. I Dreamed Of This Moment Ever Since I Shaved My Legs And That Guy With Vince's Razor.

Ape: It's Sooooo Cold.

Kitty: Dudley, Your Plan Is Working. Hold On, We're About To Meet The Bad Guys.

Dudley: Oh (Puts Mirror In Front Of Face) Do I Look Okay. (Both Scream)

Dorothy Camel: Oh,No Someone Just Eliminated Another Skating Team. Run For Your Lives! Coming Up Next, "Women's Tennis".

Kitty: I Don't Get It Where Are The Villains?

Dudley: I'll Use My Keen Canine Sense Of Smell To Track Them Down. (Sniffs While Someone Hits Kitty With A Pan, Knocking Her Out Cold) Okay, They Are Right Behind Us. (Hit By Pan Then Wakes Up) Kitty My Plan Worked! The Bad Guys Came After Us.

Kitty: Okay, Now What Do We Do?

Dudley: That Was All I Had. You Know, You Can Contribute Sometimes

(Giggles By Snowflake And Slush The They Step Out Of The Dark)

Kitty: Wait, Snowflake And Slush! You're The Bad Guys?!

Dudley: The Old Lady Must Have Put Them Up To It!

Snowflake: No, Tiffany. You See, Slush And I Haven't Won A Skating Competition. Mostly Because Slush Is Dumber Than A Box Of Hair. And I Know 'Cause I Skated With A Box Of Hair And It Was Smarter Than Him!But Then The Hair Went Solo And Left Me Hanging. The Only Way We Could Win Is To Eliminate Everyone Who's Better Than Us And With All Ya'll Skaters Out Of The Way, We're The Best Team Left. That Means The Trophy Is Ours. (Slush Falls)

Dudley: Someones Gonna Find Us Eventually And When They Do, You 2 And Your Old Lady Mastermind Are Going Down!

Snowflake:I Know Anyone's Gonna Find Any Of Ya'll (Pulls Out Fart Bomb And Laughs Non-Evilly) *Coughs* This Bomb Is Set To Go Off In Five Minutes Just Enough Time For Us To Win The Trophy And Get Out Off Here. Come On Slush! We Got Some Skating To Do. (Slush Jumps Moronically)

Kitty: Oh,No Dudley. We Gotta Get Everybody Out Of Here.

Dudley: I'm Way Ahead Of You, Vince. Rocket Skates Activate! (Uses Dial On Skates And Cuts Through Ropes)

Kitty: Good Work! Now Let's Get This Bomb Out Of The Building!

(Slides To S And S's Routine)

(Snowflake And Slush Pose)

(Judges Point 0,1,And,-1)

Dorothy Camel: Wow That Healthy Snack Routine Was The Lamest Thing I've Ever Seen. But With No Other Real Competition, It Looks Like Snowflake And Slush Are Going To Win The Championship.

(Dudley And Kitty Come Out)

Dorothy Camel: Wait A Minute, This Isn't Over Yet One More Team Has Taken The Ice.

(Dudley Drops Bomb In Trophy)

Dudley: Oh,No. You Gotta Get Me That Trophy! There's A Bomb In It!

Bear Judge: Right We All Heard That One Before. If You Want The Trophy You'll Have To Win It Fair And Square, Lady!

Kitty: Looks Like We'll Have To Skate For It, Dudley.

Dudley: But I Can't. I Don't Have Keswick's Skates.

Kitty: But I Do! Just Follow My Lead.

Dudley: Okay.

(Kitty And Dudley Do Tricks, Pose, And Get Points With 10,10 And 11.)

Dorothy Camel: I Don't Believe It! That Was The Most Dynamic And Creative Performance I've Ever Seen, And I'm Still Not Thirsty.

Bear Judge: Congratulations! You 2 Are Champions! (Gives Dudley And Kitty Trophy)

Kitty: Dudley, There Are Only 30 Seconds Before The Bomb Explodes You Take Care Of The Bomb ,I'll Take Care Of The Bunnies.

(Dudley Comes Out Of The Rink And Buries The Bomb And Sounds Like A Fart)

Dudley: Excuse Me?

(Kitty Catches S And S)

Kitty: It's All Over Snowflake, In The Name Of The Turbo Undercover Fighting Force, You're Under Arrest.

(Dudley Throws Old Turtle Lady)

Dudley: We Got The Whole Team Now.

Kitty: Ma'am, You're Free To Go. I'll Explain It To Him In The Car

Dudley: I Learned A Lot In The Car. I Like The Car (Makes The Dumb Face)

(Slide To Bones And Scones)

The Chief: Thanks Agents Puppy And Katswell, Thanks To You The Figure Skating World Is Safe. Now To Think Of It Who Really Cares? But Good Job Anyway.

(Waitress Puts Cup On Table)

Kitty: We Didn't Order Any Drinks.

Waitress: It's For The Lady. Compliments Of The Gentlemen Right Over There.

(Monkey Waves)

Dudley: Sweet!

(Waitress Puts Burgers And Fries On Table)

Waitress: These Are Also For The Lady.

Gentlemen: Hi!!

Dudley: I Am Never Taking This Off.